Everyday is a Gift

I'm Back!

2006-11-09T16:56:00.000Z

Been ages since i blogged! lol.. I guess i am just moving on with my life here in Bradford.. i dunno what i do though.. i go to lectures, come back and do something and next thing i know it its time to sleep! its sad i couldn't lead my busy lide in first year when it mattered and now i should be locked in my room with my books. my exams are in december and i so don't know what the lectures are about! i am getting panic attacks and can't concentrate properly in lectures. just sitting and worrying about what to do with my exams and revision. i remember a friend of mine once said dat why should i be afraid of exams. i should be facing my fears and not sit down and just feel the fear. Nothing will change to make me forget about it..

Joined the gym two weeks ago. haven't been going everyday or anything like dat but i have been used to going to the gym.. need to get into shape. people have said i have put so muvh of weight on! Gosh... oh well, uni students and take aways i guess but i am determined to loose weight this year. lets see what happens. Ball is next week. I haven't got a dress yet, need to go dress shopping next week. i want to try and get a different colour dress this time but we will see what happens this time. I gave an announcement to first years today asking them to come to the ball. One of the guys came up to me after and asked me if i had a date for the ball.. lol, i never thought about having a date to the ball actually... used to going alone and enjoying myself alone.

I just read my previous blog and i said i was going on a detox programme. i don't think i actually stuck to the detox! I speak about G tot hte girls and i meet M once in a while althought M and i are just strictly friends. its just a nice feeling at the end of the day to have a good friend. Its M's b'day on sunday. i was thinking of getting him his favourite movies on dvd. gonna get him wedding crashers and alladin..

I'm going to be 1 in exactly a month. i dunt want to turn 21, makes me feel like i am going to be old and i am going to have more responsibilities! M is flyinh off on my b'day. my exams start on the 11th. i have a very strong feeling my 21st is gonna be a boring day. i mean even the girls who live with me didn't bother to wish me last year.

My parents are going to India in december. they are having a family holiday and guess wat i am stuck here! do i care?? Hmm... i dunno! i really wanted to go to india and to find out about family hols without me... i dunno what i feel. i think i just keep myself busy cuz i don't want to think about anything. i have been on the go eversince i came back in september. i complain i don't have time to myself but i am scared to have time to myself. i am scared im going to breakdown or think of stuff that will make me even more confused.

been watching One Tree Hill. finished season three and started off with season four. i was so engrossed in it, it was crazy. i literally locked my room door while i was warching it. didn't want anyone to bother me. I know its a high school series but it has made me think of things. i know its sad but sometimes i think i am more like peyton.. i dunno cuz peyton seems depressed all the time and she seems to ruin everyone's moods.. I wish i meet someone like Nathan. but tats something for me to plan in a very long time!! lol

Got my hoodie... my very own pharmacy hoodie dat says 'subaroonie' not dat i like rooney or anything like dat but yeah, dats wat people have been calling me here since first year. quite comfy it is.. got to get ready for the gym.....

*are you happy Veenah? Finally blogged! Make sure you revise for your exams! im in trouble for not revising for mine!! Miss you xxx

Detox

2006-10-14T03:20:00.000+01:00

I'm going to go on a one month detox programme. i don't want to like guys or think about guys. i want to try and find me back. i want to smell the flowers *figure of speech its the middle of autumn here! not gonna gte any fresh flowers!* i want to enjoy my friends and all my surroudings. thats wat matters at the end of the day NOT some tom, dick or Harry. :)

Nighty Night

MIA

2006-10-14T02:50:00.000+01:00

I sure have been missing in action for quite a bit now! lol... Its been three weeks since i am back in Bradford.. Good Ol Bradford! lol.. Life's just been like one rollercoaster ride since i got back..

I haven't had a proper night where i have gone to sleep before 12 and just relaxed the next day.. I have been going to sleep late and waking up early.. Just came back from FND.. the girls are still out but i decided to come back early.. Gonna go shopping into Leeds tom! Yay.. i think i might need some retail therapy actually..

I fall for guys really easily. I might say dats my weakest point. I met this guy called G a few weeks ago and he seemed nice and we had some good conversations. i just found out he has a gf! I've come back to the starting point again.. i am familiar to this feeling! lol.. I really wanted tostop with guys after sathish but i seemed to have fallen twice now! I'm so sick of love songs and so tiredof tears!

M is back.. he didn't make it to third year and has to redo second year. Saw hima couple of times.. things have been so weird between us. idunno why.. i haven;t been myself and he seems like he is annoyed with me.. i dunno hwta i have done and i dunno what is wrong with our relationship now. im just gonna give it a rest and see how things go.

I miss the old me. i want the old me back. i feel like i have lost myself after the resit exam. i don't know myself. i look in the mirror n u see this person staring back at me n i feel lost. i want to just run away from everything. i want to go away n not speak to anyone. i feel like locking my room n staying in their. i dunt want to speak to anyone.

i want to go back home. i want to see familiar places. i want to see familiar people i want to put my head on my moms lap and just sleep.. i want to go back. i guess i am just releasing all my emotions dat i have bottled up..

im going to sleep now. i don't want to go on longer. it will just make me feel worse..

Family politics

2006-09-06T16:42:00.000+01:00

I sometimes wonder why we are so attached to our family members. Blood is thicker than water. Most of the arguments and misunderstandings happen between family members than our friends. i wonder if we are more tolerable with our friends than with our family.

I am really scared with my patience. I think i might be loosing my patience as i am growing older.. I gues its cuz more responsibilities are pilled on me as the years are increasing. I was quite proud of myself for handling it so far. I used to be proud of my family. i just realised i had chosen the word ''used to' all my family members were understanding and everyone was doign things for everyone with no expectations. everything seems to be changing. i have aunts gossiping about other aunts and i have family members who are angry wit each other. i seem to be the dumping ground for most of them. they tell me their thoughts. i don't mind dat. i like to listen to peoples thoughts and see if i can help out or not. Its gets hard at certain points and i am sure god is testing me at every point. I guess dats why i want to stay at a bit of distant wit the family so dat i won't get involved with the politics.

You notice the difference when one member of the family is gone.., people have changed, sometimes take things for granted. i just pray t god we will get back to the same family we once were when i was a child. we were filled with smiles and happiness and not ego, jealousy and hatred. i hope my aunt gets married soon cuz i think a family celebration is all we need to improve situation!!!

Sleep Deprived!

2006-09-02T10:57:00.000+01:00

Feeling so sleepy!! Been awake watching two movies! lol.. then ended up chattin for a while. Had to wake up early to finish all my packing. i take so long to pack. i guess i want things to be where they should be and not just everywhere but i still take my time wit it!

I was having weird dreams yesterday but i think its cuz i didn't have enough sleep and i don't really like sleeping in this room. im on the last floor and i think i a the only one in this floor. i was always wondering if i can rent an apartment and live alone but i guess i can. i rather be staying in an apartment alone dan with a lot more people. its not dat i want to be a loner or anti-friendly but i like to do things my way and have it my way. i can't wait till i get to have my own place and live independently.

Waiting for my uncle to come and pick me up.. could have had a short nap in this time and im so hungry! don't have food hea as well! 10 days are gone by. spoke to my parents today. im going home! Yay!! :) but i better not get too excited. the last time i couldn't go back home when i got happy i was going back. im jus gonna take a step back and see if i make it onto a plane!

Well, gonna be an interesting wkend in bradford wit family. bradford has actually grown on me and i think its a nice place to stay. its nice to stay on campus cuz everything is just walking distance and everything is quite compact. i like it when im back.

gonna be back in 2 and a half week *fingers crossed*

Time will Tell...

2006-09-02T01:06:00.000+01:00

Time flies but this is one of my favourite phrases. i just love to mention dat time flies!! it does indeed. i finished sitting for my resit. I have no comments about it.. I have sat for it and i guess i have tried my best. nothing else i can say. I really want to do pharmacy. i love doing what i am going to do. i think this is one job dat really fits me!! i hope i can continue through to the course.. This 11 days are really going to be nerve-wrecking.

So many things have happened this hols. I have grown quite a bit i can say. Miss working in the pharmacy actually. been working there for the last two months, its a part of my daily routine. Everything happens for a reason and it works out for yout best interest! i keep saying it actually..

i'll be going to brunei next weekend! can't wait!! Its been over a year since I've been back home. Only god knows how i have been feeling these two months. I have to be so thankful to him to give me so much strength to overcome my obstacles. there were times when i just broke down in the tube or in the bus. i don't know what was going on with me at dat time. im booked to leave london on the 10th and arriving london on the 24th. its gonna be the best 14 days, hopefully *fingers crossed*

Lubna is getting married next week.. she is going to me a married woman in less dan a year.. i don't knoow how she is going to be. its such a big step. i know the guy is right for her and everything. she is more dan ready for this marriage but it surely has made me thinking about my own life. i know i should be concentrating on my studies and my career but there is more to life dan work. I have never got to experience the other part of life yet. i mean i have felt dat speacial happiness when a guy pays attn to you but i have not been able to find dat 'bond' with a guy..

There are times when i feel like i am capable of doing everything by myself and i don't need anyone by myside.. There are sometimes when i feel i just want someone who is just there. there are times when you can say anything to your girl friends and they will always be there for you. I realised dat spending 10 mins wit dat special someone can really brighten up my day. I guess its one of those things dat cannot really be explained.

i think i have been influenced by two of movies i just finished watching. i finished watching she's the man and the perfect man just now. it was a nice combination of movies. i just wanted to be by myself and watch some movies. i wanted to watch an asian movie. will be nice to just watch a three hour movie! lol.. there wasn't anything good though..

Well, its 1 30 in the morning, i should be sleeping actually and i thought i will blog a bit.. i got a feeling i keep repeating myself but i think i will return back to my original self when i know wats gonna happen to me and whether i will be able to go through to third year.

Back in Bradford!

2006-08-28T23:18:00.000+01:00

Its gonna be a week since i am back in bradford.. Gosh, time really flies! Its already gonna be the end of August!! my exam is in four days time!! i don't know wat im gonna do.. I'm really scared for my exams and i don't know if i am going to pass this or not. I really hope i will pass this exam. its the only thing stopping me from making it to third year.

Well, what have i been doing this week. I cut my hair when i came to bradford. my straight hair is gone already.. I just realised dat my hair is like my boycut when i was in form two.. i didn't realise it till i washed it the next day.. its hard to tame the hair at the moment but i am just typing it up with loads of clips! i think its easy to tame it if i have straight hair..

i've been hanging out with the guys quite a bit.. its so boring in my halls. there is no one to speak to or see. this halls is really dead! i was not used to all the silence so i was just going out with them and having my lunch or dinner. actually i end up having my dinner with whisky. he just stays in two doors away so it makes more sense for me to go to his place and have dinner.. I think matthew got the wrong idea thought when he found out i keep having dinner with whisky but its quite hard trying to say whisky is my little bro! lol

i went to birmingham yesterday for temple prayers. It was really good and i think it made me realise a few things for myself dat i have been forgetting or being mislead. i just hope i'll stand firm with my feelings. I really want to go to india to visit the temple there but i don't know when will i be getting a chance. my aunt is going in october and i asked my parents and they have said yes but then my travelling feng shui this year is really bad. all my travel plans are just going haywire and not as planned.

Lubna is getting married next week. i wonder how she is feeling. its gonna be weird not having her in halls next year.. its a big step to get married and live with your husband while you are still studying. its her last year as well. she has to adapt to a lot of things but i am sure she can. it must have been hard for her to stay engaged to her husband for three years. i don't think i could be married while i was in uni actuall. i wouldn't mind being engaged in uni but definately not married.

feeling sleepy actually.. will probably get to sleep and then wake up early tom to start studying.. going to go and see some people after their resits. they must be hating me cuz i keep going after every exam has finished to meet these people.

High Expectations......

2006-08-24T20:31:00.000+01:00

Its always good to have high expectations when you want to achieve something. its good to set high goals for youself cuz even if you cannot met it, it will still be high enough.. We shouldn't have high expectations in receiving things.. There would be no disappointments or broken hopes if we don't have hope. Just receive things one day at a time. Don't stop hoping for things to receive cuz it won't happen like dat. Life is weird.. What can I say but we will definately come across the answers soon enough...

My Past.....

2006-08-23T22:31:00.000+01:00

I was talking to Whisky today and he was having some love problems.. He really has got himself into a tight situation! basically he likes a girl who has a BF. Thing is the girl likes Whisky as well as the BF. I've been through a lot of disappointments in my life and come out of it..

My love live complication started off with Mr.T. He was my first crush.. I don't know wats wrong wit me, I could never just like a guy and be happy. I always felt i needed/wanted more. I mean I wrote him an e-mail and confessed to him and well, got rejected in the end along wit a few insults.. I was hurt but looking back, it was a good warning to me dat guys can be quite cruel to you.

Then it went on to Mr.A.. It started off like a nice story.. we were good friends and had a good laugh which each other.. i thought we were quite close actually... Don't know wat happened but he decided to move out of my life and do a disappearing act. Its still quite hard till now.. theres a tiny part of me that is curious to find out what happened but i guess time will tell!

Mr.S comes in and out of my life.. I was 16 and i just liked any attn i got i guess.. I remember speaking till 3 in the morning one night... It was sad dat he was in Uk and i was in brunei at dat time.. I felt secure when i was next to him, a feeling i haven't felt with anyone else. we have our separate lives now.. i do see him now and then in Uk. we smile and say hello but it just stops there. Being in his presence makes me know i am safe and his smile is enough to wipe away any of my sadness.. He is just too good for me!!

I went to Taylor's College and i thought dat a new life will lead to a new guy?? Mr.N was the first guy i saw in Taylor's and it was an even bigger shock when he was in the same class as me.. He was nice and i was shy.. Then he started ignoring and treating me like dirt... didn't know wat happened but realised it was due to my stupidity.. I learnt never to over expose my emotions..

I thought about Mr.V to try and forget about Mr.N, i remember it was Taylors A-level prom for the leaving batch and i found out dat Mr.N had a gf.. i didn't sleep dat night.. i jus got up at weird hours of the morning and i was crying dat he was taken by someother girl.. Looking back, i realised i should have just slept.. Wasted my beauty sleep.. I tried to get to know Mr.V better by messaging him in friendster and stuff like dat but he didn't show interest. I tried to send him a few mails and he would reply months later.. i finally realised dat he wasn't worth my time..

Moving to Bradford was a big step for me. I though i won't meet anyone and i was still getting over Mr.A. I guess i just wanted an answer to why he left me hanging like dat... I saw Mr.S.. I dunno whether it was my age or the position i was in. I just fell for Mr.S.. i did a lot of crazy things for him.. i made silly excuses as well, i never actually thought abt it logically. I told Mr.S dat i liked him more dan a friend on March 11 at 8:00 p.m. It was a very hard thing to do but the hardest thins would probably be him telling me dat he had a GF already. lol, thinking back i realised i was such a stupid girl but made me realise even further dat i was not ready for any sort of relationship..

I think meeting and confronting Mr.S was the best thing dat ever happened in my life.. I gradually started forgetting Mr.A, i forgot Mr.S as more dan a fren and saw him as a friend. You can say i just stopped liking guys. i didn't want to go through these processes. I saw Whisky cry today and i thought to myself, i don't want to cry anymore. i have wasted so much time crying about the guys i have liked. I think i deserve some self respect for myself and lead my life happily.

Mr.M has been a friend in my life but i am so scared dat i am gonna start thinking of him as more dan a friend. I have all the proof dat god doesn't want me to have relationships at this point in time. I really do trust dat God has higher plans for me and he has chosen the right guy for me and mr.right will come along in due time.. Its just i am so scared dat my friendship will get ruined if i start having other thoughts.. Mr.M has been able to put a smile on my face and just been able to keep me sane at times.. I guess i have to leave it to god, see where this trail takes me and hey, i can get through this as well..

LIfe is all about taking risks. At the end of the day, i am glad i made every risk i did and im still happy at the end of the day eventhough the relationships have been a failure. they have made me a stronger person today and dats wat is important.

A New Beginning.......

2006-08-20T17:25:00.000+01:00

I'd like to really thank my sis for doing this new layout for my blog.. I just needed a change and she's the expert in this sort of thing! i am so hopeless in all this and its the 21st century!! lol.. Oh well, ill learn something in due time.. Blogging keeps me sane but i just lost the interest to blog or just see my past posts cuz i kept thinking of home. I know i can get weird sometimes!

I want a fresh start.. I think i am moving towards dat goal.. Work has been a blessing for me in disguise. Work has taken my mind of a lot of things. I just wanted to forget everything in my life.. I just gave work 100% of my time, energy and willpower.. The people at work did test me though.. i mean there are people there who are antifriendly and the people are quite snappy towards me but that was good ebcause it tested my patience. i have got quite a high tolerance level now.

I think i have forgotten a special someone now.. Thats good news. He is not the right person for me.. he is a great guy but then we are from two different continents and we have our own culture, beliefs and ways of life... I have to thank work for that.. going to work and concentrating on things there has made me take other thigns from my mind.. I still have the fear for my resits but then that will always be there till the 1st of Sept.

I think i have become a more independent person now. I have been staying by myself in my uncles house for the past month now. i didn't think i will be capable of doing it. i thought i will have to run to my aunts house an hour of staying alone but i am proud of myself. i have come through and can stay alone in a house. i experienced going to work, coming home to an empty house, cooking for myself and cleaning after that. Life sure is tough but its good i got this experience and i know what i need to do in future. i have to do this in durham next year anywaz.

Sometimes you question yourself why things happen to you and why is it hard but then i think god has got his own plan for us and that is the best plan at the end of the day. Things won't come to us like that, we have to work towards it and go through a lot of hardship in other to achieve something and trust me, we will be so much thankful when we go through the more bumpy road.

I've been in autopilot this whole month. sometimes i go the wrong way or i do stupid things in public cuz i have just been in my own world. i know its not the end of the wprld to fail and exam but still its been quite hard.. been closing myself from a few friends because i rather deal with it myself. i just don't feel like talking to some people. they just want to know if i have been revising and how that is going.. i just don't want to talk about resits or anything related to studies. it just puts me off studying as well..

MIA

2006-08-11T23:20:00.000+01:00

well, i sure have been missing in action for sometime... So many things have happened in this one month.. U plan one thing and God has a totally different plan for you..

I got my results for my summer exams.. i failed pharmacognosy.. i cannot believe i failed one of my final exams.. Its the first time i have failed..i haven't failed any exams before... this was definately an eye opener for me, i realised dat i can't just try my luck and pass my exams..

I had my interview with Durhan hosp the next day.. it was a reallu daunting time.. had to travel 3 hours just to go for my interview. i liked going back to durham though, its such a nice hstoric place and the people there are so friendly.. from the taxi driver when i got there to the person at the hospital, they were all really friendly and nice people.. the interview went really horribly though... i didn't know most of the answers and knew nothing about the PJ and the medicines management at the hospital.. i just found out that i got the hospital placement!! i'm so glad and thankful i got the place!! YaY.. Its gonna be really scar though.. i can't imagine moving to a place where i know no one and have to make friends from scratch. im glad in a way going to a place where i know no one and well, i won't have this feeling i am being watched by people.. bradford is good cuz i am 4 hours away from family but i still have the bradford uncle there and sometimes i feel like i don't get to be independent because he is always there..

This month has really been an emotionaly strain on me.. i have never felt this lonely before.. i just end up crying like dat.. i was sitting on the tube and saw this family and started crying cuz i was gettign homesick.. i was really looking forward to going home and i was crushed when i found out dat i had to stay behind and revise.. haven't done much revision though.. i think i went into depression for sometime.. i'm tryin to accept the fact dat i have stayed back for a month now and i have failed my exams but its just the hardest thing to accept.

i just have been keeping to myself.. i don't want to talk to anybody.. i rather be by myself and just be in my own thoughts. i don't want to speak to anyone and msg or anything.. i don't know why i just want to withrdraw myself and sit in one corner and just let time fly..

Home Sweet Home

2006-07-03T22:08:00.000+01:00

July's here already! Time does fly... I'll be getting my results this time next week.. i have got this panic attack just waiting for my results. the last time i felt this was for my driving... i can't run away from this feeling of fear.. i always end up feeling this way..

I'm working in the pharmacy at the moment.. I have my good days and my bad days.. today was one of my bad days.. imagine being the only girl working in the dispensary.. the men just want to take advantage of me ---> making me do the work not in any other way!!! imagine talking to a guy and he just walks past you like u weren't speaking to him.. My patience is really being tested.. i ended up crying dat day cuz one of the guy is just really rude and he can't even see me as a person. i will be talking to him and he ignores me.. one time the pharmacist told me not to speak to dat guy if he continues to speak to me the way he speaks. *sigh*

mitesh and meena have got their places in the hospital. silkstone advised me to apply to both those hospitals but i didn't want to because i didn't want to go against my friends.. i can't help thinking now whether i made the right decision cuz i rather be home not than stuck here and working in the pharmacy.. i mean its been good experience workin in the pharmacy but then i want to go back home and just relax and do nothing and be bored!! i haven't got a chance to do dat yet.. oh well, everything happens for a reason and it happens in my best interest... *hopefully*

been going to work late for the past few days... can't get up in the morning.. i'm feeling sick at the moment... i think i am going to catch the flu... the weather here is so hot.. they don't have sir-cons or fans as well!! its so hot and im just burning!!!

going to go to sleep soon... trying to get mitesh to tell me dat he likes meena but he's not budgin!! oh well.. respect his privacy!

Finale

2006-06-16T15:09:00.000+01:00

well, i guess thats a brief outlook on my last week hea..

I can't believe second year has passed. My worse fear is that i have failed my exams but i have a strong feeling that i have failed at least one of my exams. i guess failures makes a person stronger. i hope it makes me learn from my mistakes!

I thought i will learn and improve a lot from my first year but i realised i still have a few hitches especially in the revising for exams department! lol.. i started early but i didn't have good time management skills.. learnt how to cook more dishes now! i went and explored more clubs and the night out in bradford. i don't know if i am allowed to actually.. will have to go back home and have a lil chat with my mom..

Met a lot of nice people from my course. You tend to know more about a person. i guess it all takes time. its like the people who i thought were nice are either still nice or not so nice and the people i thought were Hmm.. are nice.. its just full of surprises.

I don't know if i am ready for third year. i am excited and looking forward to the new challenges of third year but i am scared, don't know if i am readyf or it in terms or academically and mentally. i don't know what other obstacles God has for me. i am sure he has put the obstacles there cuz he has faith dat i can overcome it!! let's see what happens.. i guess i am making up for lost time! written so much already!!

Hope you don't fall asleep people!! :)
Take care and HUGS!!
Will be starting work on tuesday and not looking forward to it!!

Wednesday!

2006-06-16T14:51:00.000+01:00

I don't want to think about dat day actually. it was a really depressing day! i don't know what came over me? could be harmones!

watched a 2-D movie at the IMAX. it was nice for a change. Heena had two free tickets to the IMAX so we went to watch Mystic India. it was quite good. i just liked the scenery. then just was talking to her for a bit and came back to halls.

I thought i was going to see Mat before he left on Thursday morning but i didn't get to see him. Made me feel quite depressed actually cuz i just wanted to see him to da a proper bye before he left. i don't know i guess cuz he is like my stress reliever. i just like to talk nonsense to him and he just listens or he end up talking about random stuff and it takes my mind off things. I like the girls in halls and everyone is really nice but then you need a break from halls peolple and your surroundings as well. sometimes i feel like i want to go down a hole and start screaming and coming back up again. I gave him a proper goodbye when he left the last time and that was only for three weeks. I don't know why i made such a big deal out of it but what is done is done. there is no point crying over spilt milk. Everything happens for the best and probably it was good for me.

Mat has been my entertainment for the second year! its been good.. i mean laughs and insults and shisha and work and laughter. i always end up laughing when i speak to him.. its just stress free talk.. i know i won't ge this again next year! nothing ever stays the same. people change, situations and environments change and well its always best to enjoy the moment and make full use of it with no regrets!

My goal for the hols is to climb up my bottomless pit.....

Tuesday!

2006-06-16T13:26:00.000+01:00

Tuesday was a fun day! it was something different.. learnt quite a lot of things as well... couldnt wake up in the morning, i don't think i have been able to sleep in this whole week although no one was here and i didn't have any plans for anything other dan packing.

i woke up in time to meet meena in richmond after her practical exam. didn't really want to go there cuz the people resitting wonder why i am there when i passed my exam. went there to say bye to some of the people who were resitting. me and meena had planned to go to the photography museum after her dispensing. Jay was there and he asked us all to join him in the pub for a drink. me and meena and the guys went to the pub for a drink.. ended up playing pool there as well. we played in a group of three.. mitesh says it as something but i keep saying we played as a triple! lol... me and kelvin and jay won three of the four games we played! i guess we won cuz me and kelvin were sober but jay kept buying the rest of them drinks. imagine having tuquila at 1 int he afternoon wit no food! it went straight to their heads! poor meena was quite tipsy already.. Jay invited us back to his place so we got a takeaway and left to his house.. we were all squashed at the back in his car..

I used to be close with Jay before cuz we were practical partners but i haven't seem much of him this year. first look at jay and he looks intimidating with all his piercing. He was giving us a pharmacognosy lecture on weed, cannabis and all the hallucinogenic drug! this is the guy who fell asllep 30 mins after the exam started and didn't wake up 5 mns before the exam ended. he really knew his stuff about it! i finally saw weed for the first time dat day!! We had a practical on cannabis but i wasn't able to smell or see it properly.. oh well, at least i have more information if i have to resit my pharmacognosy! lol..

kelvin and crew invited us to walkabout to watch the Brazil vs croatia game. good thing meena stayed over the night so we went to watch. kelvin came to my room before that. i learnt about the external hardware! computer lesson 101!! ha ha ha.. he transferred his songs and medical books onto my computer.. i want to get one of those! they look good plus i can just steal movies and songs from kelvin and mitesh and the guys!! The game was quite good actually. Brazil has a very good goalkeeper!! the atmosphere is really different when you are watching a game in a public area! its more fun and in the moment.. the guys tried kangaroo burger.. Hmm... i have no comments about it.. poor mitesh got scared when tony said it tasted like beef. he thought dat he had beef and was saying he hoped it wasn't beef! Aww...

Had a nice suprise.. Matt came to see us at walkabout.. he just came and had a drink and we went to arabian nights to smoke shisha. i didn't though.. i don't want black lungs! lol it was an allright time.. someone was not talking to me.. i thought it was weird but then i just was talking but mainly listening to him speak about stuff.. we had a great laugh bullying kelvin. kelvin had a kangaroo salad at walkabout and i was telling him it won't fill him up but he said it wil.. he ended up wanting a takeaway after dat.. we were making fun of him and his salad.. aww, poor thing! lol

went off to mat's place to watch a movie.. took us ages to actually decide on what movie to watch.. ended up watching dodgeball.. it was boring in the beginning but it picked up in the end. im officially the queen of Snaps!! i was only defeated when mat was playing but i won the other matches!! came back home and was so tired i just went to sleep! oh yeah ended up chatting with my mother til 5 in the morning! i was so dead and just went to sleep!

Monday!

2006-06-16T13:10:00.000+01:00

I want to blog each individual day for the week. Its my last week of my second year. I would have to say its been a different week. I've done things i have wanted to do from first year. bonded with people, watched movies, listened to songs and of course did my last minute packing! lol..

Well, i thought that i will spend monday doing my packing but then i stayed over at the Bradford uncles house on sunday so i woke up and spent some time in his place. i came to uni for two hours though.. Mat had his PP2 exam so i came back to see him in a suit and ask him how his exam went. i also had to go and hand in all the girls keys. so yeah it was allright.. That was such a boring day cuz all i did was sit and watch indian dramas. Its all the same stories as well.. someone having an affair or the mother in law is torturing the daughter in law and they'd portray the daughter in law as a superwoman!! this is indian drama for you!

Came back and saw Mitesh and was talking to him for a bit. i got an Indian movie but didn't get round to watching it cuz meena came to my room and we were talking for a bit.. She had her dispensing exam the next day..

An Answer

2006-05-22T19:17:00.000+01:00

I've been quite clueless these past few days.. I know i should be concentrating on my exams and not thinking about anything else but i just can't help it.. Its like thinking about things which i should not be thinking about... I have been turning to god to see if he can give me a clear answer. i have spent time thinking and to be im ashamed to say this but crying.... i have been looking for signs and jsut clues for my answer and i think i may have got an answer today... it wasn't so clear and i don't know if its the right answer but i am going to accept it.

I heard in Oprah once that history keeps repeating itself until you have learnt your lesson. I am so scared dat history is going to repeat itself again. i hope to just be normal and not do anything. i don't want to think about a person and i don't want to really be in touch with the person. i feel like i have just been falling into a bottomless pit and its going no where.. i just want to be rescued and brought back to the ground. i had so much self-control... i hope to get it all back i feel so vulnerable... i don't understan why i keep doing this to myself.. i'm so fed up of thinking the same thing again and again and again.. i just wish god will give me the strength to put this matter at the back of my mind and let me just concentrate on my exams.

lets see, exams on friday!!
PP2(26/5) ---> going to start only on wednesday
Body Control System(31/5) ---> started like 8 lectures from sem 1 and 3 from sem 2
Pharmacognosy (1/6) ---> going to start it tom for a day
Pharmaceutics(2/6) ---> spent three days on it and finised part of it but 90 people had to resit dat exam last year!!! its the hardest of them all.. 100% exam and not coursework involved!!
Renal and respitaroty and cardiovascular (5/6) ---> did the two major chunks but i didn't memorise the information and have just read through..

Looking at my summary, i wonder how i am going to pass my exams!! Oh god, i really have to prioratise shoudn't i!!! Yeah i think so tooo...

Life isn't all Haa Haa Hee Hee

2006-05-20T21:19:00.000+01:00

My title for today was actually a book dat i read a long time ago and it was developed as a small BBC drama for about four weeks. It was a really good drama.. It was about the lives of british indians who lived in england but still had to stay in the indian way.. quite interesting actually...

well, i think that this really suits me at the moment.. i just had a huge turn of events.. i was meant to be going back to brunei on the 12th of June but guess wat.. i might be going back to brunei only on the 22nd of July! i can't believe how things just become so different!

i have to wait for my pre-registration interview.. they will only be starting pre-registration interviews after June 22nd. so i will have to wait till y interview and then only i will get to go home.. How ironic, the song Home by michael buble is playing in the background when i am writing this!! lol.. oh well.. i guess its all for the best in the end.. maybe i might have to resit my exams so its better i just stay here first to get my results and see how things are.. i dunno!! ill be working at the pharmacy over the hols.. wow, how fun! lol.. i guess its interesting in a way cuz i get to see all these rich people in chauffer(sp?) driven cars with their maids and everybody.. i got to say, some of the maids look more posh than me!! lol....
i probably wil be going and visiting people i know over the hols as well.. i guess its good in a way but its disappointing as well since i was really looking forward to going back home and getting a good rest and being spoilt and just relaxing.. looks like i have to stay here and do a bit or work b4 i can relax!

revision picked up today.. i was able to finish all but one of grimsey's notes... still have about three more lecture notes till im done for today.. the pressure is on as its only about 6 more days till the exams.. just hope i can survive this time!! *fingers crossed* i will be able to pass all my exams!

Pic review

2006-05-15T12:27:00.000+01:00

I finally was able to upload my photos today!! i was awake till one trying to do ti yesterday but just kept getting errors! well.. here's a short explanation to the photos!

the first pic was of the four of us b4 we left for the ball.. the second one was of Mr. Tucker and Mitesh B4 they were going to down the shots.. the other one was taken in the yellow bus we were on on the way back to revolution.. the last one was a pic of me and meena with mitesh and his bro.. don't they look like they were our body guards? lol..

i think ill try and upload more pics! he he he..

Ball Pics! :)

2006-05-15T12:09:00.000+01:00

Ball Review!

2006-05-15T00:15:00.000+01:00

the ball is finally Over!! YAY!! lol, i am so glad the ball is over and done with!! i guess the ball was ok btu i think we had more fun in the winer ball.. i guess the afterball party was better actually. i think it was a very good idea to have an afterball party where we can all just enjoy ourselves and unwind. Revolution was very nice to us and actually let us in free after 1 a.m. so it was a very impromtu thing actually.

I tried uploading the pictures but theres an error.. i dunno whast wrong with it and i am pretty fed-up with it but i will keep trying to upload it.. yesterday went quite fast.. Lubna did my hair for me.. i put my hair up for a change. i wore my red dress from first year in the end.. i had to go early to the hotel to meet the early birds, melissa's bf drove us to cedar court.. he seemed like a nice guy. he was quite quiet but friendly as well. first time i met him.. there wasn't anyone there..had to get the photographer to arrange his position and everything.

the people started arriving in busses! we made it sound posh by putting the coaches were going to be bringing them to revolution but it was actually busses! double decker buses! lol.. it was a cheaper option! everyone looked really nice!! some girl actually had the same dress as sarah on!! That was bad newson the down side..

mitesh's brother pritesh was there... he was so quiet! i found it quite amusing, mitesh and pritesh! lol.. the evening was just dinner and dance and raffle prizes.. that was about it... we had to leave the place at 1 in the morning.. nothign special happened... we went to revolution after that and the guys were just downing shots! mitesh had had three shots as well as glasses of double vodka. you'd think that guy would have had enough of the drinks but he decides to challenge out lecturer to downing 6 shots at one go!! he won by like a second at downing the shots down and the lecturer, mr.tucker decides to have another second round. so basically mitesh had downed 12 shots at one go and boy was he drunk!! he was just hugh after dat.. He and the guys were meant to be walking us back home but we girls ended up looking out for the guys.. kelvin couldn't handle the shots cuz he threw i up at the end of it... mitesh and sam were just high in alcohol!! i had to link arms around him to make sure he would just walk in a straight line and not walk on the road or something like dat!! gosh, dat guy!!

Gadget and matthew were the sober ones and walked up back to the halls while the drunk guys made their way home the opposite way! i just went to sleep cuz i was so sleepy!!! i thought i could sleep in and wake up late but i got woken up by voices outside. i just woke up and ended up just gossiping about the night to anisha dna the rest of the girls.... am sleepy now.. going to go and sleep.. have got a PP2 exam on tuesday!! dunno wat im gonna do!! Aaahhhh

Ball Pics! :)

2006-05-14T23:48:00.000+01:00

Ball update!

2006-05-13T02:02:00.000+01:00

Just about 24 hours to go till the ball ends!! YESS!!! im so glad its gonna be over!! i can finally get back to a normal life after this ball! matt just keeps saying i use the ball as an excuse not to do my work but its not like i don't want to do it.. its just dat thats how my body has been programmed. if i was to organise something i need to do it right and make sure it is al perfect!!

we'll have to see how things go.. im going to straighten my hair and get some curls in my hair.. im not going to make it all curly but there's gonna be some curls in my hair for a change and i got a nice necklace which is red.. something was missing in the outfit but we can't really figure out what and apparently my dress is quite short but i am really not bothered already. it has got to the point where i am no longer looking forward to the ball but i am waiting for it to end! this time tom, ill be reminiscing about the ball and hopefully it should be good.. *fingers crossed* will be missing seeing Nigel on J floor while im sellin tickets!! me and him really bonded for the past few weeks! lol... Nigel's the lab technician and a really nice guy!

so so sleepy.. we watched the movie doom and went on to continue to watch 'just friends' but i just fell asleep while watching it.. no idea wat happened but the guy and the girl got together in the end.. i mean, how predictable hey!! the movie 'doom' was stupid as well. there was not proper ending or anythign like dat.. i basically wasted my whole day today! was suppossed to do a bit or work today but matthew came over in the morning so dat we could sort out his notes and then we had to photocopy them as well.... spent the whole morning doing dat and then me and the girls had lunch at subways.. second subway this week --> not good!! thats about it i guess..

Egged Twice!

2006-05-12T09:01:00.000+01:00

I must be walking on the road with a sign on me that says "please throw an egg on me!" lol i went out for dinner with heena and was walking back home.. heena wanted to take some cash out so i was waiting for her at the cash machine and i was watching this car drive by. next thing i knew my leg was wet and realised someone in dat car had thrown an egg at me!! This is the second recurrence!!

The ball is TOM, thats like in 24 hours time!! AAaaahhh...well, most of the things are sorted already. we don't have any sponsors for the ball. we have managed to use the cheapest stuff and got everything sorted. we didn't have raffle prizes on wednesday. I said i will sponsor two boxes of choclates as the raffle prize since its for charity. then we said we can borrow £50 off the account and buy other decent prizes like cinema tickets and ice-rink as well..but the exec was really supporting and they all pitched in as well and started sponsoring raffle prizes as well.. I was quite proud actually cuz at least everyone can come together in times when we were quite desperate. after wednesday, we just got the raffle prizes coming in! we got bradford bulls ticket for rugby and free dinner at Omars and also free tickets for bowling. i guess the ball is looking good the more its nearing the date. i just hope there won't be any major hitch-ups tom!! i can't believe the ball is tom! time has just flew!!

im contemplating whether i shall wear the red dress for the ball or the saree for the ball.. im not too sure.. the dress is an allright fit for me and the girls say i like nicer in the saree but i don't really feel dat comfortable in it and i rather be eelign comfortable in it.. so yeah im a clueless gorilla at the moment! lol...

Well, need to do a bit or revision and cleaning my room!

Two down one more to go!

2006-05-11T00:22:00.000+01:00

Had my calculations exam yest... have no idea how dat went.. i knew how to do ten and i didn't know how to do four and i am only allowed to get four mistakes to pass at 70%!! thats the most dreaded thing, even a single mistake might cause me to come back to good ol bradford *sacasm* to resit my calculations exam!! thw worse bit is we only get our results in june!!

The seminar was today.. i think i did pretty good considering i only prepared for it like 7 3o in the morning anf i had my presentation at 9 in the morning! it went smoothly and i guessi realised dat our practica group can get along with each other in a way.. i thought it was quite segregated but then i think when it boils down to doing work, we actually do quite well as a whole big group except for certain exceptions! lol

the weather was amazing today! it was such a nice day! we didn't even need to wear jackets! it was so warm and nice!! too bad i can't be out enjoyign the weather and have to sell tickets on J floor.. Tickets sales end today adn the ball is in two days time.. i just know what i am going to wear. i haven't actually decided on wat jewelerry or whatever i am goign to do! will have to sort something out tom! most of the lectures are over except for renal and body control.. can't wait to finish lectures.. 15 days till the exams! so not looking forward to it.. hopefully it will be allright.. i ave no idea what i have been doign with my time but second year has flown by so quickly!! i can't believe how fast time flies!!

feeling sleepy now.. hope to get up at 6 in the morning for some revision.. see how it goes! lol

Sunny Sunshine

2006-05-05T01:12:00.000+01:00

Today was such a nice day! it started off by being a cold day but it turned out to be such a warm day! you didn't even need a jacket when you went outside! it was such a nice day! i hate having this cold.. i feel cold eventhough its not dat cold!!

Oh we have 100 people coming to the ball!! it is sucha n achievement!! its looking better actually! i am so thankful we have 100 people.. at least we got to fill in half the room so it won't look dat empty! ticket sales are until wednesday so it shouldn't be too bad! keeping my fingers crossed and see if we can sell more tickets. Im taking a break from BAPS. have got a calculations exam and a seminar to concentrate on!! i don't want to be neglectign other things now.. i finally got a chance to go to the library and do my revison instead of other things!! eels good to actually revise something!! will probably wake up early to prepare for my seminar and look through at my work..

Have got an inhaler workshop to go to.. apparently we get to try and use inhalers.. shoud be ineresting cuz i have never tried usign a n inhaler and wonder how it us!

feelng sleepy but i have to get used to getting little amounts of sleep. Gonna go and sleep now

Killed Patients & Got Egged

2006-05-03T11:27:00.000+01:00

How bad can my week be?? Hmm.....

Failed my mock dispensing exam. I killed two patients. i gave 490mls of methadone to an addict instead of 35 mls. i also did an overdose! Gave an 11 year old kid 8 co-codomol tablets instead of 4!! I got -120 for that which means i just failed straigh away! i really wonder how i can be a pharmacist at times like this!!
we sold 65 ball tickets. I think we will be really lucky if we sell 100 tickets!! my target is selling 35 more ball tickets.. lets see what happens. i am not really bothered about the ball now. i am really stressing over the ball and being worried for it when its not my responsibility!! i have done more than my share for this ball. My whole two weeks have been filled with bal stuff and just literally begging people to come.. i like the people sitting on my table so that's allright at least!
Have got the cold!! Hate the cold!! been coughing and sniffling and having shivering attacks!! I got some Lemsip capsules, hope dat will work! Might have to go and see the GP if i don't feel better. Have to get well a.s.a.p with exams coming and all. calculations exam next week! have to pass it at 70%! im scared of my professional development module now! i thought i could hack it but looks like i can't!!
Went to Omar's for dinner today.. it was the usual normal dinner. we went to Jacksons to get an ice-cream. I saw butter 'botak', this bald guy who does clinical science who is not bad looking! well, i saw him and i was just telling the girls and laughing around.. I was just minding my own business and crossing the road. i was in the centre of the road and suddenly i feel this pain in me stomach.. i was wondering wat happened. a bunch of guys had thrown an egg at me. well, the egg bounced off my fats and fell on the road and cracked but the pain was so unbearable. they had thrown it with such a force. i was so shocked. there was a car behind the first car and the driver put his head outside the window and just started laughing out loud while he was driving away. i didn't know wat to do.. i couldn't enjoy my ice-cream after that.. i was just in shock only.. first encounter of bradford hooligans but i am sure i will be bumping into these kinds of idiots quite often!!

Little Matthew's birthday was on sunday.. he had a little party at his place today before going to livingstones.. i just went for it cuz he does so muchf or us girls and always walks us back so that we are safely back at halls.. i just went for a bit and they were going on to livingstones but i just could not be bothered. i just wanted to come back, take my medication and go to sleep. going to make annoncements tom in lectures about the ball. have to wake up early!! *sigh* oh well...

I changed my blog layout to the old style again.. i wasn't completely happy with the new layout.. going to change it when i go back so that i can ask my sister for help and ask her to kind of do it for me.. i did learn a bit but i want to do it properly.. My sis actually sent me an e-mail tutoring me with the hints and everything.. Aww, bless her!! Thanks!

May day!

2006-05-02T00:54:00.000+01:00

It was May Day Bank holiday today. i was suppossed to make the most of it and revise but did i do it?? Hmm.... NO! i dunno where time flew.. there was a May Day carnival organised at the students union.. it was for charity. BAPS had a stall there and we were kind of meant to be there but then i really could not be bothered to be there.. i mean there wasn't proper organisational skills or anything like that and we didn't even know wat to do but yeah.. the carnival wasn't even like a proper carnival but yeah..

I woke up today and did one lecture note and have just been doing other stuff.. need to research about new anti-epileptic drugs for our seminar next week and we have a real calculations exam and we have the summer ball next week.. i am just dreading next week!!! i think i will have to say revision is going to be out of the window but then i will have to make sure that i just spend three hours everyday at least in the library to revise!! Have to try and get some past year papers as well.. quite hard to get though..

Saw Mat today... we were going to just do lecture notes but i ended up spending two and a half hours with him! we were talking and talking and doing some photocopying and stuff like dat... u just don't realise how time flies sometimes..

Feel so sick at the moment, i just had a shivering atttack in the evening wheni had my nap.. i dunno what was wrong.. i think i am getting down with the cold or something like dat.. i have the symptoms already.. i should have tried vicks self defense actually! it would have been good o have first hand experience with dat so dat it will come in handy when i am a pharmacist! lol..

i found out today that one of the girls in my course split up with her husband. they have only been married for a year. the guy and the girl got close last year in first year and they got married during the summer hols. they have been living together eversince they got married and they are in the same practical group and they alwasy sit next to each other in practicals.. you wonder sometimes how come people can be so close and together 24/7.. well, i hope they resolve their problems and get back together again!!

i had my mock dispensing exam on tuesday. i got a prescription for methadone which is used to treat drug addicts. i was meant to be dispensing 35mls of methadone but i dispensed 490mls instead. it was not an overdose but then addicts will surely love me if i keep giving them a lot of doses of drugs!! gosh, i dunno what came over me!! oh well.. at least i know for next time!! ill be laughing when i get my result on wednesday!! till next time!! :)

Extended weekend!

2006-04-30T21:30:00.000+01:00

Its just been a week since we got back to uni and we already have a day off! i'm not complaining though! The more hols we get the better!! lol.. i just need any excuse not to go to uni and not to start studying!! im not sick of revising but haven't got to revising yet..

I went to visit Anisha at Bolton this weekend. it was really nice. it was so much better and bigger than bradford actually. I was quite nervous to go there but it was ok in the end. Her family was nice and inviting. we didn't do anything on friday.. we just sat and watched tv and talked and went to sleep.

She brought me to town on saturday and we were just roaming around the town centre. we were actually in town for 5 hours! Wow.. we went to te central library and they had little aquarium and mummies and stuff like that... a mini museum you can say.. the had lots of the usual shops as well... I went looking around for some nice bags but couldn't find anything ineresting.. i really have become bag crazy actually!! i used to be shoe crazy in Malaysia but its the opposite now! Anisha bought a nice bag yesterday.. it was so nice, i would have got it as well but i was just feeling guilty with spending money! need to splurge £30 for the ball and all.. just save my money first! lol.. i did buy a bracelet sort of thing though from the same place.. i had to buy something that will remind me of my trip to Bolton.. i got my usualy postcards as well.. i have started this thing where i collect postcards from the places i visit and keep it like my record. i haven't got a postcard when i went to birmingham and coventry though but im sure ill be making trips there anywaz!

Man utd lost to chelsea yesterday! lol i'm quite happy!! I've got my moodswings when i support Man-Utd!! I wasn't in the mood to support them yesterday.

There's a may day carnival tom at the students union. BAPS has a stall for the hula hoop challenge.. no idea how its gonna turn out and what we have to do.. no one has told us what our responsibilities are and al.. See how that wil go. i dunno why but i really like to listen to craig david's "unbelievable" song.. it sounds really nice..

Heyaa

2006-04-28T00:45:00.000+01:00

Haven't been posting in a while actually.. Been quite busy with the whole ball coming along. I just don't know what to say.. Jo the social sec is just so demanding!! she wants so many things to be done like immediately and its just not possible!! we just have to think practically and see what happens. we need to get 200 people to come to the ball and well at the moment we have just sold 32 tickets so i dunno how its gonna be but i hope things will work out in the end.. they always fall in place in the end! i sold tickets to this cute guy in fourth year yesterday! one advantage of selling the ball tickets is that you can see all the cute looking guys!! *wink*

i went into fourth year lectures today to do an announcement about the ball and i was just so nervous cuz they looked so intimidating but they were good. i asked them if i could get their attention and they actually were quiet and was listening. i could have heard a pin drop if someone dropped it! lol.. they were nice though and i felt happy after! i did the announcement to first years and they just could not keep still and was waiting to go home.. i guess i just got the timing wrong!

this week has just been about the ball. haven't got round to any revision.. got an extended weekend! monday is a bank holiday for may day. we have got a may day carnival on dat day.. have a stall for it and we are doing something with hoops. i dunno what exactly we are doign though..Hmm.. will just have to wait and see... i have no idea why the uni has all this stuff going on when the exams are a month away! Just does not make sense!! I might be going to Bolton for two days with anisha cuz she has been asking me to visit her house and family so i might just go there for two days and come back.. will actually be deciding tom..

i feel so awake at the moment and its gonna be one o'clock.. probably cuz i did the stupidest thing and had a two hour "nap" after y lectures.. i have been rushing around so much and having lack of sleep dat i just cought up with it today! not a very good timing but managed with it anywaz..

i can't believe the hols are over!! i want the hols to start again!! i didn't do much over the halls but i liked to just revise and then relax and do nothing.. with uni comes responsibilites and respnsibilities just takes the fun out of things!! Oh well.. lol

Probably gonna be online for a bit and just head off to sleep so dat i can wake up early tom..

Nightmares and Sleepless Nights

2006-04-22T01:51:00.000+01:00

I ended yesterday's blog abruptly.. The security guard came to make sure eveything was allright. the guys has left by then so there wasn't much use for that! i was so freaked out, my leggs were shaking when i went to open the door for the security guard. i have never felt dat way! the closest i came to feeling that way was when i nearly got pushed down the railway track in london last year.

Had my first nightmare in UK. i dunno what i was thinking but i just started shouting and coincidently Naz was outside so i just went out and was asking her questions.. Dunnola, it took me so long to get to sleep! I should actually be relaxing and chilling before uni starts but i just seem to be getting lack of sleep and no proper sleep. i aimt o finish at least one module before the hols end! lets see how that goes..

Well, today was a normal day.. Did quite a few things actually.. revised a bit, took a walk to town to grab a few things and then even tried to exercise a bit! lol.. went to the twins room to watch this series about beauty and the geeks or something.. its about this model like females who are paired with geeks and they have to be together and go through tasks and stuff like dat.. watched dat and then a movie came on and i just ended up staying there and watching the movie.. it wasn't all dat.. was called faculty and it had josh harnet and eliya woods as well! none of them good looking and nothing special about the movie as well..

well, im soo tired.. am going to jump into bed and hopefully tonight will be a better day!!

3 more days!

2006-04-21T01:45:00.000+01:00

My hols are comign to an end and i don't want it too! its not like i went out much and pertied or stuff like that! its just dat i really liked my lifestyle during the hols. no lectures to go to.. i didn't really have to wake up early or anythign like dat..

well, what have i been up to.. Hmm... i guess entertaining Michelle was my only highlight of the hols. i didn' do anythign else interesting or exciting.. i wanted to go to york or leeds to have a look around the shops but didn't get round to anything.. just been trying to revise! oh yeah i did play badminton and went for my aerobics classes as well..

well, i realised i have watched quite a lot of movies over the hols. thought i would list it down...
what a woman wants, Hitch, Miss congeniality, East is east, some hindi movie, dilwale dulhania le jayenge, weddig date, man of the house, zoolander, saajan, failure to launch, she man. i think thats about it.. its not much much but then i usually don't watch a lot of movies and this is actually quite a lot for me!! well, its the hols and i just refuse to revise after 6 in the evenin.. i just want to chill after that... i try and do my best to work in the morning and afternoon though... Note the 'try to' lol.. i guess this week has been quite productive and i did a lot more work.

have the ball to organise now... the social secretary is getting on my nerves and she is so impatient and she doesn't want to wait till our meeting and making decisions of her own and things like dat!!! in a way, i just can't wait for this whole ball thing to be over!

i was tempted to get a new ball dress but i think i will just wear the one i wore during my first year!! scariest thing just happened to me and my hands are still shaking!! i was typing my blog and these group of guys threw a stone at my window and started calling out my neighbours name!! they got the name and everythign right! i was just so so freaked out!!!! i just called the securty and i really hope they get the guys!!! sounded like asian guys but i so did not want to look out of the window!!!

Movies,Food, Lack of sleep

2006-04-14T23:57:00.000+01:00

Well, what have I been up to? Hmm.. Nothingm much actually.. been trying to revise pharmaceutics but i just keep doing like one chapter a day or one lecture note a day! its like i cannot bring myself to do more than one!! pharmaceutics book has got 19 chapters!! i dunno how i am going to get through dat! i need a whole separate holiday for it!

Been watching some movies as well.. that's like my chill out session.. been watching dilwale dulhania le jayenge, then watched man of the house.. actually i just watched two movies, why do i think i have been watching a lot movies? have no idea.. i just am getting lost with dates and days! its friday already.. i have one more week before uni starts and the exam starts one after another!! So not looking forward to that!!

Today was the Tamil New year!! it coincided with Good Friday and Vaisakhi day as well.. what a coincidence!! i did't do much actually.. i got up only at around 11 thanks to my mummy! me and naz had a very long talk yesterday till half 4 in the morning so i was so dead in the mornign and cuz its new year people were sending me texts and calling me to wish me a happy new year but i was so annoyed cuz i wanted my sleep!! lol... well, these people all were just my family members but still!!!

i went to the Bradford uncles house today.. his son is over from london with his friend... didn't get to speak to him or anything.. i just said hi and then left for prayers.. when i went back to their house he was out watching footie so i didn't get to speak to him as well.. then he was having dinner when i was leaving so yeah. going over to their house again in the evening.. dunno if i will see him then.. oh well.. we don't have anything in common anymore.. he has his life and i have my life but its quite sad though cuz there was a connection at one point but i guess people move on and change! lol..

im so sleepy now! im off to sleep so i can get some solid work done tom before going to the uncles house again!
Goodnight and Sweet Dreams!

My ReView

2006-04-10T02:59:00.000+01:00

I think there is more to me reading the book and watching the movie than what meets the eye. i was/am kind of lost at the moment.. i believe in signs and i believe in answers...

I have learned quite a bit in this weekend... i learnt that i should wait for that prince of mine. i shouldn't be in a hurry to jump on that horse (could be a jaguar in this day in age *wink*) and go off with the wrong person. now is the time to enjoy myself anywaz!! make the most of my single life doing what i want, when i want it! lol

People, movies, books, its al made me realised that there is more to life and that I should be taking time off and enjoying my surroundings and making the most of it.. if anything was meant to be, it would be meant to be. i knwo my life has been planned ahead of me and whats going to happen wil happen so why should i sit and wait and cry or be sad over things that don't happen. i am the driver of my life, i should be driving my own car and enjoying every minute of it!!

Blogging has done good to me.. When i look back or rathe read back, i am so annoyed with my complaining side!! i rather not be complaining and looking at the brighter side of things!! i have to admit this new change will take some time to take place, i have to take baby steps.. i will achieve this soon *fingers crossed* but i know i have the support of you guys surrounding me!!

Its 3 in the morning and i am feeling hungry! will probably just go to sleep and wake up in 5 horus to have my breakfast and start some serious studying!! decided to start on my pharmaceutics tom!! hopefully that will be better than body control!

Movie RevieW

2006-04-10T02:47:00.000+01:00

well, i have been chilling this weekend basically.. i mean i TRY and get some work done in the mornign and in the afteroon and then i try and chill in the evening after 6! i mean come on,it is the hols and i do deserve my share of rest isn't it!! lol.. not dat i do much anywaz.. i found this video rental place near uni so i went to borrow a dvd from there.. Usually i never like watching old movies cuz i dunt like the colour and picture quality but apparently this was an old classic movie and had to watch it.. its a hindi movie called 'Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayange' The movie came out when i was 10 years old and i doubt i would have understood it if i watched it anytime earlier!! lol..

I looked at the website beforehand to see what the movie was all about and apparently it was a romantic comedy and let me tel you people, this was such a good film!! it was such a nice film i just wanted to press play all over again and watch it! lemme remind, you, this is a hindi movie and its 3 horus long!! i was actualy prepared to sit another 3 horus and watch this movie again!! it was so good.. Maybe its just me but Naz agreed with me as well!

The movie was revolving around this guy(Raj) and girl(Simran) who fall in love but then the girl's father had promised his friend dat Simran will marry his son! Typical indian movie, Simran's fatehr finds out about the love and haul her back to india to marry the friend's son and Raj follows her to India and tries to win the heart of her father and family.. its sounds like a normal story but it was just how the actor acted adn his expressions, it was really good and emotional.. i was so drawn into the movie..

Some parts did make me think.. i was wondering if i would actually cave into my parents wishes and marry someone i don't even know and stuff like that.. This movie is really a must-see i would say!

BoOk Review

2006-04-10T02:21:00.000+01:00

I know i am suppossed to be revising but it is the weekend after all hey! i decided to catch up on some non-pharmaceutical reading! lol i bought this book called Vince and Joy at WHSmith.. i don't know why i was looking at so many books but this plain book just seemed to grab my attention and i got it.. i can't put a good book down when i start reading it.. i am the sort of person that will not touch a book if i know dat its boring! but this book was quite interestign eventhough i predicted the ending beforehand.. it was bound to happen!!

Its the usual romantic story dat you will get but this one got me thinking.. It was about this guy who met this girl when they were 19.. The had a 'holiday fling' and she just goes away suddenly.. the book goes on about their individual lives. their paths do cross quite a bit in the book but they just don't seem to realise that they really were meant for each other until in the end and about 10 years later it dawns to then they were really meant to be!! i know its quite a short sypnosis and its not much of a help but then the book was 500 pages long!! i am not gonna bore you people with the whole storyline.. If you interested, you can alwasy borrow it from me! *wink*

its a good read if you killing time and belive in faith and destiny!!!

Bad Luck Hols

2006-04-07T23:26:00.000+01:00

I think i am jinxed his hols or i have done something really bad dat i am getting punished! i dunno what to sayla.. first i get rejected by Guys and St.Thomas hospital which i really wanted. then i get rejected by BRI as well.. i don't even get a chance to go for the interview. i wonder soemtimes what i do wrong... every action has got a reaction- mr.newton issit?? i really had my hopes sky high for bradford hospital so dat i can stay here with my friends and well chill and do work at the same time.. that's out of the window.

i am wondering if the 5 year course is really the one for me or not.. i am wondering if i should just change to the 4 year course.. i dunno wat to do or wat to say.. i am just so fed up at the moment.. i know i should be thankful for a lot of things but i am just not bothered at the moment and haven't done any revision today.. just wasted all my time, i wonder how i can waste time like this!!

just keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason and its all for my best interest.. i wonder if this really happens.. i do have faith in god and i know dat he knows what is right for me but why do tears still roll down my face?? rejection is really hard to accept. before this it was just being rejected by guys but now its workplace as well. Welcome to the real world Suba!! lol...

Going to sleep now... Tom is another day

Tuesday!

2006-04-04T23:44:00.000+01:00

well, its tuesday and second week of hols!! i can't believe one week has passed and we have three more weeks to go. time will just fly and i got an interview to prepare for as well as a mock exam!! Not looking forward to dat...

well, i just woke up late today and was on the computer the whole time.. i keep forgetting i have a webcam.. shell was using my webcam when she was here.. i showed my mum my room and everywhere... she couldn't believe i haven't done thsi in 4 months! lol.. oh well at least she got to see it now! i was online for a bit and had my lunch infront of the laptop looking at oprah winfrey website and looking at a video of her guesthouse.. its so so Nice and calming and so comfy all her rooms and everything.. i hope i can own a house like dat ONE DAY! lol

then had a shower and decided to head to the library to do work but i ended up sleeping there as usual.. whats new.. saw mitesh and asim in the library.. they just sit down in front of the computer browsing the net for car parts and speakers and electronical stuff!!

went to Yoga today.. it was so calming and relaxing! made me feel guilty cuz i haven't done any work and i go to get relaxed! lol, how ironic but it was good to just unwind and don't think of so many things like my self control motto! Naz is back! i have someone to talk to at least!! been so boring in halls without anyone to speak to so at least she is back! i'm happy!!

i cannot believe what a pig i am! i slept and i'm still feeling very sleepy! Naz said i look very rested and no stress! lol, of course cuz all i have been doing is sleeping and no work but i hope to change that.. going to wake up early and maybe just go to the lib to do some work! see how it goes *fingers crossed* dislike learning the autonomic nervous system.. too many things to learn!!

Chicken Soup for the soul

2006-04-03T17:56:00.000+01:00

Chicken soup for the soul! i love motivational self-inspiring books like that.. I have my own chicken soup for the soul!! Thats my shelly W.. lol.. michelle came over to visit me for a few days!! Finally!! i was waiting for her to come and visit me eventhough there isn't anything much to do!!

She came to Leeds on friday afternoon. i went down to pick her up. we went to leeds for lunch as well, both of us were just starving!! we went to eat at Burger King.. she introduced me to sweet chilli chicken sandwich and its so so Yummy! i really liked it, i don't really like to eat non-halal food with my other friends cuz i feel bad and don't want to offend them.. We just came back to bradford after lunch. didn't do any shopping or anything like dat. poor her,the weather was horrible here this weekend and it was forever raining. we were suppossed to meet matt and crew for bowling on friday but bowling was fully booked so we couldnt play on dat day. both of us ended up watching failure to launch. the movie was quite nice, its been a while since i watched a movie at the cinema and it was nice to watch a romantic movie. plus who can say No to a movie with a good looking guy! brought her for a curry at Omar's! Omar's is a nice student place where you get nice curry and they have Yorkshire's biggest naan! Shell, the naan was big innit? *wink*

We went shopping on Saturday. went to see stuff and shell was looking for a spring jacket.. we went into zara but there wasn't much stuff.. we went into H&M and Gap as well... shell looked nice in the denim jackets she tried on. we went around leeds but it wasn't a good day for shopping cuz it was buzy everywhere. it was Saturday shopping after all so Leeds was Packed!! thought we will go and watch an IMAX movie after leeds.. i was so stupid, i didn't check the times or anything like dat so we rushed from the train station to the museum but it was open and they do play movies late at night. Now i know!! we bought our tickets for 8.15 show for Sharks 3-D. had a nice walk back home and bought a few stuff for our trip to Salford Quays. i came back home and marinated the chicken to be cooked. then we took the taxi back to the museum. it was quite interesting but i got the biggest headache ever after dat. i didn't have datbad a headache when i watched the first 3-D movie but the movie was good and we were quite close to the sharks and there was a place where we could touch the jllyfish as well! it was something different. poor sharks are endangered now.

Had to wake up early yesterday to go to salford quays. i just slept while going there but it was quite difficult to sleep there cuz there were so many kids in te bus making noise!! some parents dont know how to control their children properly. met nidhi there and she wanted to take us to the Man-Utd stadium via tram but the weather was so horrible yest! it was pouring cats and dogs!! we didn't really do anything there cuz we were just tryign to kill time in the end. we went round the art gallery and also the shopping centre.. went for lunch at a chinese restaurant. we went to the tourist information and asked them how far old trafford was and it wasn't dat far & it was walking distance. it took us 15 mins to walk there but we just went to the megastore and was looking round the man united stuff.. i got a keychain for myself and a clock for my sister.. isn't my siser lucky to have me as her sister *hint hint* lol called my cousin to rub it in that i was at Old Trafford, he is so into man-utd. its because of him dat i have started hating man-utd. he really irritates me when Man-Utd play when i am there. he comes and screams in your ear!!

well, the trip back was bad cuz the kids were making so much noise!! to top things up, two ladies behind me were speaking and speaking and speaking! i couldn't even sleep properly! i found out dat the lady sitting behind me like a spacious house and her space to move around whereas the lady sitting behind shell likes a small, compact house cuz its easy maintanece! i know its bad to eavesdrop but then its not my fault they were speaking and i could here them clearly! lol.. managed to sleep for a bit. then came back to halls and made shell my chicken and she made brocolli and eggs. i hope the chicken turned out allright and was fine! then we rushed to fo bowling. i was finally able to book an aisle for bowling. i tried to book a bowlign aisle for friday and saturday but it was fully booked!! well, i guess now we know what bradfordians do during the weekend when they are bored!! i messaged the guys and asked them to join us if they were free and up for it.

I was nervous for michelle to meet Mat. i dunno why, i was wondering what is she going to think about him and what she thinks of him. well, thankfully mat being mat was a bunch of laugh and i think it went quite well. mitesh and kelvin were there as well and i was glad they were not too quiet and was contributing to the conversations. i haven't realy really chilled with them but i had a nice time last night. played a game of bowling and mat said will bring us to the casino.. but they wanted to see our I.D in the casino cuz we were his guests.. poor shelly got I.D.. i dunt get these people, how can they expect us to bring identification around us all the tiem especially us being international students. i mean out passport is our only security in this country! i don't even want to think about it if i loose my passport.. *lemme just make sure i have my passport in a safe place*

we decided to go to Musti instead for shisha. the guys ordered their shisha and we were just sitting there. we ended up trying cherry shisha and melon shisha.. i thought the cherry shisha was quite nice.. me and shell got a shisha to ourselves as well, we got a strawberry shisha.. i think i got an overdose yesterday cuz i kept coughing and my throat was really dry. its an experience but i can't do it all the tme and i won't be doing it all the time. the place was very relaxing and we were just talking around.. Yesterday was really tiring! came back home and had the triffle i got for desert. Had a nice hot shower to end it all and just wanted to fall asleep..

well, went into leeds today. shell got her jacket from H&M. they had the size she wanted. we went to eat in Mc'D for lunch. i haven't had so much fast food before. then i sent her off at the train station and took the train back to bradford again. it was raining and there was hale as well. not a nice weather as well and i was so cold!! i came back and i was so blur, i didn't know wat to do and just felt a bit lost. i was used to having shell around me. oh well, all good things come to an end in the end. im still having headaches.. ill probably just have my dinner and go to sleep..

Tommorrow is another new day! hope to get some revision done.

Broke My record!!

2006-03-30T22:53:00.000+01:00

I broke my record today! did two lecture notes instead of one! lol.. YaY!! finished the whole of brain.. now have to move onto the autonomic nervous system which is all of diana woods stuff which i ignored in year one.. its coming back to haunt me now!!

i haven't had a proper conversation with anyone today.. well, except the conversation between me and the computer! lol.. i have just been on MSN... the only conversation i had was between the lady at jacksons and the guy at subways! hasn't it been good!! lol.. i get the true taste of being alone in halls... the girls should see me now for being quiet and not talking to anyone!!

recently i have been getting complaints about my loud voice.. they don't like me speaking in lectures during break and they don't like me speaking in halls.. i was speaking to anisha in the kitchen on day and this girl goes Ssssshhh.... I was like ok.. it is the kitchen after all and a communal place.. i do have a right to speak there..

we were in the twins room and we didn't know she was sleeping and we were watching a movie.. halfway through the movie, she knocks on the door to say she is sleepign and if we could put it down. of course we put it down after dat and we felt guilty for disturbing her but we didn't know she was sleeping since she has some late nights anywaz.. next morning she says to me "i couldn't sleep last night. i was trying to put the pillow to cover my ears and i was wondering why are they so inconsiderate!" i mean seriously, you think i am inconsiderate, please tell it to my face!! don't tell me indirectly like dat. i was genuinely feeling guilty for watching dat movie but i had no idea dat she was going to sleep! i mean it was part of my fault to be there but don't make me feel so low by expressing your feelings like dat. i would have accepted it so much better if you had the decency to tell it to my face!! we found out after that the twins knew she was going to sleep! did she mention it to the twins dat they were being inconsiderate and she couldn't go to sleep ----> NO!! i just don't understand some people sometimes..

i know i am loud and i try my best to speak soft but you don't need to keep pointing it out or making hurtful comments!! i have my own limits as well.. its a good thing the hols are here and i can cool down and learn to keep my gob shut! its not nice to tell tales about other people but this was the same girl who brought guys into the block at 4 a.m waking everyone up!! they were in the kitchen and i heard them in my room and i live on the the second floor! you can imagine how loud they were!!!

I'm scared dat my patience level will decrease and i will snap at this girl. i am stuck with her till i graduate as well since she is going the same course as me.. its just dat how do you react to a girl who has been talking about you behind your back and you know all about it? i just find it hard to speak to her.. i want to confront her but thats not good cuz then i will affect her relationship with my source!

-Patience is the best option for the time being-

Loneliness

2006-03-29T23:16:00.000+01:00

Don't you think i am beginning to sound like a miserable whiny girl! Lol.. well, few days into hols.. what have i been up to? Hmm.. nothing much i can think about.. Naz left for london today.. thats leaves me alone in my wing and my floor and well pretty much friendless in halls! Its so weird cuz i have no one to talk to and no one to respond to!! You just don't realise the little little things you take for granted.. usually she will shout something from outside her room or sometimes ill shout something to her and we can have coversations through the door till one of us gives up and opens the door! lol... i really appreciated she was her when the others left...

Reality is really hard to accept.. this is one of the times i realise dat i am alone and i have travelled 12 hours away to a foreign land to study!! usually i am surrounded by 1/12 girls and i still feel i have someone looking out for me.. I just am thankful dat i met so many girls here in halls dat make me feel at home..

I guess i have to blame myself.. i was the one who didn't want to go to london for the hols. i thought dat i will stay in halls and just revise.. well, two lectures notes into the hols, all i feel is loneliness and well watched hitch, what a woman wants and east is east...

I guess at the end of the day, is good practise for me because i won't be with the girls forever. they are all graduating next year and i won't be here to see them off since i will be in placement somewherelse...

i was touched by some of the guys.. they did invie me to their house to chill or revise or eat or whatever.. funny thing is i dunt even know him properly and dunt know where he lives! lol

Its so nice to see the smiles and the excitement when the girls are going home.. i so can't wait till i get to go back home and just be home.. somewhere i am familiar with, the sounds, the smell, the rain, the sun, even the dogs barking at 2 in the morning! lol... i miss the littlest of the little thing.. i dunt regret coming to bradford though.. i think it will be moulding me into a better person(i hope)!! i do know i have gained a lot of experiences and learnt a lot of new things but i wish it could be closer to home! lol..

Shelly W is coming on friday so it won't be so bad after all.. I can't wait!!! been waiting for this since forever!! lol.. just a shame she couldn't meet the girls and the girls were disappointed they couldn't meet her!! i keep going on about my partner in crime who is in warwick!! lol i am wondering what i can do and plan.. will see how but planning on going to salford quays on sunday.. thats the only thing planned actually.. dunno about the other days.. will just be going with the flow!!

Will be going into town tom.. need to do little missions and everything.. i hope to do some solid revision as well.. try and break my record and do more than one lecture handout! lol...

Waste of Time!

2006-03-28T16:38:00.000+01:00

I'm just seeing the contrast between my blog and Ernest's blog... His blog is full of knowledge and it really makes you think and contemplate on how much you know! Look at my blog, it has pics and the story of 'Me'!! The thing is 'Me' is not even dat important when you consider other things in life!! My congrats to Ernest and i just want to tell you that i am behind you 100%!!!

What's a waste of time!? well, i was just thinking these couple of days and realised dat guys are a waste of time... I think i amthe biggest hypocrite as i keep mentioning guys and keep thinking of guys but girls have you thought about the hours we waste thinking about these guys?? i mean, if you are already taken and in a relationship its ok but single girls, have you thought about it?? Its really something you should be pondering and coming to terms with!!

i spend time thinking about ... or if i haven't seen a certain someone i will be wondering when is the next time i will be seeing him having my withdrawal symptoms.. lets not count the hours i am thinking of a certain someone, if i am not thinking of someone, i will be speaking about that certain someone! i mean i could probably have revised one of my modules when i put all dat time combined.. I mean its nice talking about the certain someone and also looking back at the special moments you two would have shared but think about it logically?? How long will dat make us happy girls? cuz then at the end of the day we just want more or we would feel sad when we don't get dat special treatment again..

- To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk disappointment. but risks must be taken because the greatest risk in life is to risk nothing. -

I agree but then when i think about it, why is it dat we girls end up dressing a certain way or making sure we look all nice and decent for the guy we like and in the end, he just looks at us at the same way he sees another girl or worst still if the guy just avoids and ignores us! Do you think guys speak about girls to their guy friends and tell them how nice a girllooked today or if we did anything funny? i don't think guys actually remember allt he small little little details dat we remember and laugh in the end...

I think its time i come to grips with it and appreciate the time i have! Not many people in this world is blesses like me and some people havent had the chance to see their 20th birthday. i think i should really be thankful for this and make full use of it! it will be very hard in the beginning as you all know me!! lol but self-control is my main driving factor and a motto in my life at the moment..

I'm really sorry if i offended anyone or if i sound a bit frustrated.. i learnt from stranger recently dat i get frustrated easily and i didn't even realise i do dat till now.... just thought something i would type instead of just pondering about it.. well i am off now to hopefully do soemthing productive instead of thinking of a certain someone!! lol -----> SELF CONTROL SUBA!!!!!

No Miracle

2006-03-28T12:04:00.000+01:00

I heard from the hospital yesterday.. they rejected me.. oh well, i guess i didn't quite meet their requirement. i wonder what was their requirement actually.. they decided to take in a girl who got kicked out of lectures twice and who talks during lectures! Hmm... i dunno but i don't want to sound spiteful or jealous or anything... i am just happy for the guy and girl who got chosen. i hope they are very successful!!

I know that everything happens for a reason and that it will all be in my best interest but then still i had my hart and mind set for this hospital. i really wanted to work there. it was the biggest disappointment to me.. i guess rejection is always a big disappointment!!! i have been staring at something on my wall the whole of yesterday and yet i forget to practise what i preach!! i read something a while ago and it has been stuck in my head but i tend to forget about it quite often..

I know that god won't give me more truble than i can handle.... but i wish that he wouldn't trust me so much. - Mother Theresa

well, i haven't been up to much.. its the fourth day of hols i have just been taking it easy.. it took me like three days to clean my room! Lol.. i think its quite clean now.. i think anywayz!! I haven't done any work but planning on getting some work done after this.. i have put a time limit on myself.. will be online till one o'clock and then i try and get at least three hours of work done!! lets see how that goes.. the clock has gone forward an hour now so i actually loose an hour sleep which is not good! Lol, all i feel like doing is sleeping!!

Disasterous interview!

2006-03-21T19:56:00.000Z

I seriously don't know how today could be worse!! Well, lests see... i woke up today morning with butterflies in my stomach. After that i prepared and revised for it just counting the hours.. i got ready in my suit and was all ready to go and face the interviewers!! i got ready extra early adn left halls at like 10 to 1 or something like that! i really was keen! i ended up waiting there for 30 mins!! Lol.. oh well, ijust was keeping my cool!

I went into the interview all calm and cool.. greeted them and put my handbag down on the floor and then gave them my nice smile and just thought everything was going to be ok. who knew i was going to be stuck on the second question!! i mean they had asked me why did i choose that particular hospital. i was giving them an advertisement on their hospital and the interviewer stopped me and asked me if i knew anything about the pharmaceutical aspect of the hospital and guess what i say ---> "honestly, i don't know anything about the pharmacy at the hospital"

Oh yeah and then they had to ask the most dreaded question ever they could have asked! they asked me what my three weaknesses were! i was like 3?! i told them that this was the most dreaded question i did not want to answer when i was preparing for this interview. i managed to tell them that i can't say no to people and also my second weakness is that i am a loud person.

well, the killer of my horrible interview was when he was asking me what do i agree with the current issues in pharmacy and stupid me confuses between supplementary prescribing and independent prescribing. i explained to him about how pharmacist are allowed to write prescriptions but then we need the GP signature and all dat but apparently as of april 2006 you don't need the GP signature. i just madea fool of myself by not knowing the full story and i pretended like i knew it!! then he was like why would we need to have the gp signature if the pharmacist knows it all?! I just didn't know what to answer to that!!

Oh yeah, i try to be a good person and i tell micheal who has the interview after me to give me a call if he wants to know what the inerview questions are. guess what that guy has the nerve to say "you give me a call and tell me what the interview questions are?!" i was like, hey i am not going to bother calling you at all! you want the stuff, you can call me.. he calls me today after my interview right and while i am telling him the questions, he is like, you are telling the truth isn't it?! I as like,i just felt like slappign him!! then he finishes the interview and then he comes into lectures and he steals my seat! i was sitting next to ikram and then he sits next to ikram and he says he wants to sit next to his friend and he makes me sit at the back!! then he kind of blamed me because i didn't give him the proper questions and didn't warn him enough! i mean, who does he think he is?! i already was prepared to help him!!! some people can't be helped and am never happy!

I know i wasn't going to mention mat but i just thought wat he said was funny! Mat was saying how i should have told micheal to fall off the cliff and hope he hits every sharp edge while he is on the way down!!

well, will know the outcome tom but i really hope mitesh gets the place there. he is the only one i know that deserves it. he really has done so much research for it and has properly prepared for the interview. even if i don't get the place and if mitesh gets it, i will be trully happy for him.

will knwo tom the outcome *fingers crossed*

13 hours and counting

2006-03-21T00:12:00.000Z

well, 13 hours and counting till my interview ... How do i feel?? ----> nervous wreck. i don't know what to say.. i tried my best and have done all my research. whats meant to be is meant to be.. i just can't wait till 2 p.m. in the afternoon... i just hope all goes well.. *fingers crossed* my hands all shaking at the moment, i can't type properly..

13 hours and counting.... only thing i am looking forward to doing is putting my suit on and getting ready.. i know its quite sad!! lol..

2 More Days!

2006-03-19T00:41:00.000Z

I'm having a coundown till my interview on Tuesday!! i am already panicking for my interview! i have butterflies in my stomach.. I just want Tuesday 1 30 to come... i got my suit already.. the girls were asking me how am i going to do my hair and will i put make up.. i dunno about it yet... i a still trying to see if i have enough clinical knowledge to get me through this interview.. *Sigh*

we went ice-skating today morning. we were meant to go yesterday, we did go but then there were a lot of white people there and they were looking at us quite oddly because we were the only asians there and apparently they were sayign some stuff towards us.. so we decided to go back home and then come back today morning.. it was a familysessions so it was just all small kids with their parents.. It was quite embaressing cuz he small kids could skate better than me!! Lol, i was just holding onto natasha and anisha in the beginning, i just did not trust myself but then at the end, i was like, i am sure i can do it and i actually went around the ice ring by myself!! Big achievement for me after the last attempt at ice-skating! Lol..

well, dat was pretty much the highlight for today and all i have been up to now is just trying to sort out my interview questions and preparing for it.. Hope it will be allright.. will be practising interview questions with mitesh tom.. i dunno if thats a very good thigns to do cuz we are both applying for the same position and like we are competitors but then harry poter shared information with the others too when he was competing! Lol.. wat a comparison for me to make! Suba is definately loosing it! Lol..

well, till tom with more whimes for me about my interview! Lol..i hope something interesting happens to me tom!! been quite bored with nothing interesting going on...

Boring day

2006-03-16T23:15:00.000Z

well, today has been quite a boring day actually.. Hmm, i was busy but then it was quite boring.. Nothing extra special happened. Well, i did buy my suit today for the interview! it was expensive!! it was my two day job salary to buy that suit! Sakit hati.. well, i skipped two lectures today and went into town.. i slept in my body control lecture... he was so boring and i actually went to sleep when he started explaining a slide and woke up and found dat he was still on the same slide! he is really slow and he takes time to explain everything but he explains too much and keeps repearing himself.. what have i learnt in that lecture? hmm.. i dunno but i know he was using the word hypertyroidism a lot!!

oh yeah i forgot to say what happened to me yesterday.. well, after livingstones, the girls wanted a takeaway so we went with gadget and the 1st years to dixy to have some chicken and chips at 3.30 in the morning! gosh, well we were all sitting down and minding out business when this one handed homeless man comes and sits down in the middle of out circle and just sits down with his bottle of alcohol.. we already found dat creepy!! Little matthew decides to ask natasha to ask the homeless man if he would like some chips.. there was a big piece of chicken in the box she was having with the chips and she hands it to the man and asks him if he would like some chips and he grabs the chicken from the box and starts tucking it in!! That was freaky!! we were all just quite stunned and just decided to just leave the place... walked back home in the cold! it was so cold lastnight!! its still cold, it was snowing today in the morning..

i guess thats the highlight of my day.. nothing else actually... going to go and sleep now.. oh i started on my interview questions.. i know what clinical governance means finally.. well, i think i do.. i have to write it down on paper before i forget! Lol..

Photos!!

2006-03-16T13:12:00.000Z

Well, i finally was able to upload the photos onto the blog! Yay!! Lemme give the description of each photo!!

The picture is Meena, Natasha --> they're twins by the way, Matthew and Gadget.
Gadget and Whiskey ---> i still don't really know their proper names but whiskey is like my younger brother and calls me his big Sis!! can you imagine a big rubgy player calling me his big SiS?
The crew at livingstones right at the beginning which is why the dance-floor is empty! it was suppossed to be Grease night
The three girls at Chi the cocktail lounge sipping our cocktails.. meena and her margarita and sarah and natasha with *** in the beach, quite alcoholic!! we didn't get the cocktails in the posh glass though.. got it in a normal glassyou get softdrinks with! sarah and meena were trying to finish my cocktail since i dun't drink a lot, i was so scared i was going to get tipsy or something so i just drank like two sips!
The menu of Chi, think its quite classy... maybe the place will improve with time.. they juse opened the place.

Chi & Livingstones

2006-03-16T03:25:00.000Z

Well, today has been quite an eventful day.. what have i been up to?? Hmm... well, i couldn't sleep for long cuz some people decided to come and check the electrical sockets in halls so i had to wake up to open the door.. then got ready and went for my BAPS meeting.. well, had a few disagreements as usual but we also came to some conclusions---> surprisingly! Lol..

i came back home and thought i can get a start with the interview questions but me and my big mouth.. was speaking to some of the girls and i went on and on and on.. Lol, i think my word for next week has to be Quietness.. i am startign this thign where i have the word for the week and i have to try and achieve it.. i hope it works and makes me a better person actually!! Where was i before i started going into a tangent again! Lol, oh yeah i came back home and had a short nap before going to omars for a curry! i was starving, all i had the whole day was a muiller corner crunch yogurt! i was so hungry i just ate everything!!

Bought some mini eggs on the way back from omars. i am just addicted to them. they are just so wonderful dat you feel happy instantly!! 2 for £1.60 as well!! i slept a bit more when i came back.. lol, i just love my sleep!!! then i got ready and left for Chi! i brought my camera out! Yay, i have photos! Lol...

I am so stupid, i tried to upload the photos but it wouldn't want to upload! how much more computer illiterate can i get?! I can't even spell that word!! oh well, its 3.40 in the morning as well.. i'll try again tom morning and hopefully it will work!!

went round to livingstones and was with gadget and crew as usual.. we all happened to have brought out cameras so it was a night filled with just taking photos while dancing.. it wasn't so bad actually today, i guess cuz we went into livingstones late so it didn't seem so long.. i can't believe its the second time in a row i am going to sleep at 4!! whats going to happen to me!!

I was able to get a photo of meena and keith as well today!! aww, its so sweet, meena is so happy she was able to get a photo with keith! its so cute when someone likes someone!! i hope to use my skills and get those two together soon! Lol, miss doing that.. bringing two people together.. As for me, i have decided today dat i am off all guys. i mean i only will think of guys as my friends and nothing more.. the more i think about a guy the more i get hurt.. I made a promise to myself dat i will not cry over another guy after the 'sathish incident' but i am scared i am gonna get emotional over a certain someone. i think the best thing for me is to just stay away from all guys.. There is no hope for me. I think the best way to stay happy is just be alone.. i mean, i am a independent person who is hopefully going into a good job as well.. that's more than what i want and i can have fun at the same time.. i am very blessed to have so many good friends around me all the time anywayz! thinking about a guy will only add more stress onto my already stressed life!! Hopefully putting my thoughts into words will have a better effect for me.. i know i will be having withdrawal symptoms in the beginning but hey, everything is hard in life!!

too sleepy, going to sleep! Goodmorning and sweet dreams!!

Time Management!

2006-03-15T11:15:00.000Z

Wednesday today! Hate Wednesdays now.. Its either i have a BAPS meeting or that i have to go and do presentation on smoke free homes! I miss my wednesdays when i can just chill, stay in my room and go and play badminton in the afternoon!! Thats fun!!

Really need to manage my time.. i haven't even prepared for my interview yet and its in 7 days.. i really need to find out the defination of clinical governance... have no idea what dat is!! Gosh, i have buterflies in my stomach already! Apparently i am still part of the netbal team even if my beloved team does not want to inform me about any practise they have! i mean whats the whole point of my going to sheffield in the end! i was meant to go out shopping and buy my suit.. i will have to do it on friday now... I hope i get a really decent suit.. Oh my god, just had anoher panic attack about my interview!! Aaahhh!!!!

Body control coursework is due in today... Stayed up till 4 in the library doing it! Gosh, I should never try and work in the main computer centre, too many people are there in the night... Of all days gadget decides to come and return my notes yesterday night at the computer centre! Yesterday was the first time i actually had a proper conversation with him.. usually its justa hi-bye sort of thing... quite an interesting character actually! Lol.. I have no idea what my coursework is about.. We had to recommend to a GP about an oral anti-diabetic drug.. gosh, i don't understand why a GP cannot just look at a BNF and look at all the indications, the side effects and cost and think for themselves if they should prescribe the drug or not!! why come to a pharmacist! we have enough on our plate as it is!! I really dunno what kind of coursework this is.. i can't even pronounce half the words.. the drug is pioglitazone and they belong to a class called thiazolidinediones. i wonder who comes up with all these name!

i dun't even want to think how my day today is going to be... got a baps meeting.. i really wonder how we are going to carrry on with baps. n one can actually get along with each other.. we are all so different to each other but at the same time we are all perfect for the role!! going to omars at 5.. At least i have a couple of hours after my meeting and before omars.. will probably get some interview work done.. i have no idea why is 'guys' hospital so good. i probaby have to go and check it out in the website... Getting the calculations result today.. i dunt want to get it, too nerve-wrecking! i didn't knwo anything in the beginning, i was like is this calculations! then when i calmed down i kind of was doing something and was gettign somewhere close to the answer.. Question is ---> Is the answer correct? Good thing its only a mock calculations.. i failed it last year...

Note to Self--> should not sit next to Mat during an exams.. he gets to fidgety and he hums a bit and he yawns a lot making you feel sleepy!!! i actually copied one of the answers from him cuz i had no idea how to do it and had no wish on trying to do it so i jsut copied his one.. thats the only one i didn't know anyways.. have to prepare for th calculations during the hols.. the exams after we come back in week eleven and we have a mock dispensing exam as well.. dunno how i am going to do that.. there are too many rules surrounding a control drug!

well, going to go and have a nice shower, hope the water is nice and warm!! the hot water here is so useless!

Snow Balls

2006-03-13T11:49:00.000Z

Its been snowing again! Lol.. I woke up yesterday morning and was going to the kitchen when i saw everything around was white!! there was heavy snow yesterday! i was so shocked... it was a very nice surprise in the morning!! I wa sjust waiting to go out and play with the snow the whole day.. it was so nice.. i spent the whole of yesterday cleaning my room!! it took me so so long to just clean my room and my room is really tiny as well!!

i managed to make it look decent at least.. not really clean clean but its looking decent!! i seriously dunno what am i going to do when i have my house with more than one room! Lol, i'd have to have lots of storage and places to hide things!!

I had some snowball fights with the girls in block in the evening.. it was fun! fauzial can really run cuz she kept throwing snowballs at us and running away and we couldn't catch up to her but i got her in the end, right at her head! Lol, i had a big achievement!! i hope my cold doesn't get worse from playing in the snow yesterday.. i just kept sliding and falling in the snow.. gosh, very messy... i worre jeans as well which wasn't a good idea actually cuz everything is stained with mud!! will have to give it a good wash later on...

Got so much work to do and i dunno where to start ---> have to do my Body Control coursework which is due on wednesday and i have to type up my BAPS minutes and send out an agenda and then i have to go out shopping to buy a suit and i have PP2 practical tom which i am dreading.. i always dread it a week in advance but it gets ok when im actually in the practical, i guess cuz it drags on for a whole three hours and we never get to finish early with dat practical..

oh had pharmacognosy practical today.. dat was fun, we had to do experiments with cannabis! Lol, there were people selling weed outside our halls last year and i still don't know the smell of weed.. Apparently i could have smelt weed today during the practical but i couldn't smell anything.. i think cuz of my block nose so i have to wait to smell it again! Lol... i know i'm weird!!

Got a mock calculations test tom... haven't even revised for it! i can't believe i have left it till so lats minute, not another thing to add onto my list!! I better write all these things down before i forget and panic in the end!! *Aaahhhh*

Well, going to go and have a short nap now so i won't fall asleep in lectures.. have mc'curry today..

Sleep Deprived!

2006-03-11T12:08:00.000Z

My main aim for today was to wake up at noon time or after.. i just knew that would not happen! i got up at 8 something in the morning and then when i did force myself to sleep again, guess who rings me? ---> Sathish!! i was wondering what in the world would dat guy want with me at dat time in the morning.. well, i called him back and he had no reply and then half an hour later he calls my room phone and then said dat he just simply called.. i was like yeah... I dunno if he knows or not but its been exactly a year today since i confessed to him and told him that i liked him and he had to just reject me!!!

well, then i just ended up on the phone after that to family members and everyone... i actually started typing my blog in the morning but then i got distracted and ended leaving it... i thought i will watch some of the movies that the girls left for me to watch during the weekend. all the girls have gone back for the weekend.. i thought i will actually make use of this but then with my sleep deprivation and everything, i just did nothing today.... i watched 3/4 of 'Friday' and i just felt sleepy and ended up sleeping. i didn't realise i went to sleep and then i just woke up at 6.30!!! i thought it was 6.30 on a Sunday morning, i think if it was up to me, i would have just slept till sunday morning but then i realised it was still a saturday evening... woke up with a bad mood as i usually am when i realised i just wasted all my free time like that!! well, i just have to blame myself for all this!

i don't even want to think of what i did yesterday!! I did my first mentoring job yesterday! it was fun minus the part i had to be at richmond for 8.45 a.m.! i could do dat on normal days but then i just couldn't be bothered to be there so early in the morning!! well, ended up going there and then waiting for 4 kids to come in a bus... it was quite intimidating for me actually cuz i expected small kids to come down the bus and not kids as tall as me!! but at least they turned out to be a nice bunch of kids.. me and Naz were in charge of nine students.. At least i had Naz with me so it wasn't fun. we did like a true/false quiz with them... they didn't open up or was interested in it... they were just sitting around and saying yes or no.. then we moved on to IMAX and watched a 3D movie on cyberworld or something like that.. it was ok, not too bad... then walked them back to the university and showed them around the campus and everywhere... they were quite bored wit that and were just waiting to go for lunch.. Lunch was so bad, the fish was oily and we didn't ave time to have a proper lunch... we had to hurry for an afternoon workshop... the workshop was fun.. we had to build paper airplanes and the grou dat did the most and were able to fly them a certain distance wins... My team won!! Yay! did nothing though but Yay!! Lol.. Oh yeah i kept cutting and handing them cellotape!

It was cute looking at the kids cuz i think one of the girls in the group liked the boy in the group and she was doing things and looking at him and fluttering her eyes..... Awwww..... it was so cute!! She kept praising him and being his right hand. I was paying attn to her and the guy than actually doing the work!! Ha ha ha ha.... I wonder if i was like that when i was her age.... i wonder if i am like that at this age as well!!! Lol..

I don't know why girls get so involved emotinally and physically when they like guys! i mean whats the point on girls wasting their time on how they look or how to react just to get the guys attention? whats the point when the guy doesn't even feel tat way or worse ever when the guy doesn't even know you exist. I think tats the worst feeling ever. I hope that girl does meet her Mr. Right and is happy!!! I am just putting my chapter of liking guys to a pause. I am so fed up feeling the same thing all the time and ending up in disappointment... liking a guy is always interesting and the whole emotion when you see the guy you like but at the end of the day it always ends up in disappointment.... i think i really have to learn from this one year with confessing to sathish. God always works in mysterious ways. there is a lesson behind everything that happens to us. Sometimes we don't even know why it happens to us and we feel really hurt but then it all gets explained to us at the end of the day. Thats the beauty behind it..

well, what else has happened? Hmm... i went to check the night out at leeds last night.. it was really good. the place was two storeys and they had two dance floors.. it was like a proper place and nothing like livingstones at all.. the music was good as well and they played belly dancer! Lol.. i was so dead last night, I was on my feet they whole day yesterday so o was tired and just wanted to sleep but the girls always want to stay till the end so i was just waiting for time to fly.. we left about 2 3o in the morning and arrived here about 3 00.. then the girls wanted a takeaway so we got our ships and walked back home in the cold..

went to sleep at 4 after all dat exhaustion and guess who decides on calling me up out of the blue in the morning? well, my dear sathish!! why did he call, you ask me?? I have no idea!! Lol..

Well i have been writing a bit too much about a certain someone in my blogs.. i was thinking to myself i have to stop mentioning dat someone.. the word for me is Personal/ Self Control.. i was thinking to myself what have i achieved in this one year since the whole sathish thing occured but then i couldn't really put it in words... i don't think much has changed and dat is quite disappointing! i think i shoud be a better person and much improved but i don't think i have achieved dat. i hope i have finally realised dat now and will work towards it this year at least and i will see for my 2nd year anniversary! Lol..

going to go and sleep now and wake up early for some work hopefully...

Still Sick :(

2006-03-09T23:54:00.000Z

I'm still suffering from my cold and cough.. i hope i get well by tom, going on a night out to leeds tom.. i hope i feel better and up for it.. i don't want to end up feeling tired and sleepy. you just can't enjoy yourself to maxx....

well, got to know a few things about me again! i love hearing all these things.. well, firstly, apparently i like two new people and i should add them to my list. according to jay, he has already found me a husband which is ikram. then according to Sarah i like michael now and should add him to my "list" of guys... i don't understand this concept at all! This is he 21st century if i am not mistaken. guys and girls mix with eachother and speak to each other. it wasn't even me who was making the conversation, He was just fooling around and was speaking to me during the break.. Grimsey finished his lectures half an hour earlier....

Usman hasn't been sitting with us during lectures and we were all wondering why has he been sitting further away. got the answer today as well.. apparently he can't stand my talking... i dunno what he means by that... i dunt even think i am talking in lectures.. i thought i paid attention and only spoke the odd one or two comments! i know i speak a lot when we are on break or something.. i always sit next to borin people anywayz. i never say much when i sit next to meena or sarah and am always sandwiched next to fiza as well and i dunno what to speak to her about... i know i always used to speak to matt during lectures when he used to come but its been months since matt last turned up to a lect.. i know when matt used to come and sit next to me.. we used to talk a lot and usman used to say stuff... i guess you just don't realise certain things when you think you are right.. i guess i just have to be more alert and careful now.... so fed up, i don't want to see any of these people.. why can't they just be more direct and tell me straight... i understand why usman is not saying anythign to me.. he really comes out harsh and will just say what he thinks so i know i will get hurt if i get told off by usman....

my start of the day was not good in the beginning.. we had practical classes.. as usual, i did no work and we just was messing around.. then the ecg machine was not working so we thought we could go back home cuz technically we had done a bit of the work.. we were leaving the lab when dr.javid stopped us and she asked me in front of half the practical group where i was going. i had to say i was going back home because i finished everything. then she was like everything and i was like, yeah i finished everything except for the ECG machine as it was not working. then she made a big fuss whether i did complete everything and i said yes and then she said she will test me and asked me to give her an example of a calcium channel blocker and thank god i just knew the answer and was able to say veramapil!! i will never forget this question! it will be embedded in my mind. she asked me next wat the mechanism of action is and i just simply said at i had not taken it down and she was saying how i need to know it and thank god the technician came in at that time to fix the blood pressure machine! i was quite proud of myself actually dat i was just able to answer that questiong at the tip of my head!! i did pay atention to certain bits i guess! Lol.... i have never been on the spot like this before.. i think the last time i had a lecturer encounter was the first week of college when my handphone rang in biology class and Ms. Koh was angry at me...

i was laughing at myself.. matt says dat i can't lie to save my life but i actually did save myself today! Lol.. surprisingly enough i saw him at L floor after we finished out practicals... went out with him and the guys from there.. It was quite different cuz i have never been out to eat with the guys.. they are just being silly guys as usuals and talking about their normal stuff and wat they are up too... you wonder how sometimes things happen when you least expect it!! i didn't even think i would see him today.. poor thing is sick as well and went to sleep after lunch...

i went to bombay stores today and was looking at all the asean dresses... it was so smart and all the guys suits.. woweee..... you can so imagine a guy wearing those suits and looking so so so so smart!! Woweee.... lol.. we girls were just imagining it.. had salmon and mushroom and some of naz's pasta for dinner.. had a good inner i think! Lol... finally did my washing which i have been puting off since monday!! i know its that bad! finally i got it all done and i have clean clothes! Lol.... i always tell the girls, i have no clothes when i wear certain clothes.. its just cuz of the stupid weather... i can't wear any of my short sleeves out cuz of my cold and the cold weather.. just waiting for the weather to warm up a bit!!

actually i better get to sleep now.... been chatting away and i have to wake up early tommorrow.
Goodnight and Sweet dreams

P/S Sorry Cl, will mail you later on... feel sleepy! Thanks for your mail!! :)

Go Away Flu Bug

2006-03-09T08:27:00.000Z

I've got the cold and cough!! So unfair, everyone else played in the snow as well but i end up getting sick!! Well, Newton did say that every reaction has an equal and opposite reaction hey! i realise sometimes that if i laugh really hard i do end up crying a little too! Lol....

well, its been a busy past few days for me despite the cold.. the only thing i am doign right is going to sleep by 11 and drinking lots of fluids! feel so depressed when you are in this state, all you want to do is just lie in bed and lie there.. lol..

Played Cranium on tuesday! now, dat was fun!! Its such a weird game though... really hard to understand the rules... merium was the only one who actually understood the rules!! itw as a good game and teh company was really good.. nidhi, saba and the malay girls came.. i was like a mini J block reunion.. eventhough we have fun this year, nothing can beat the time we had in first year together.. i guess cuz it was the first year! Lol... and we clicked on with a lot more people.. i dunt think we really click on with our housemats now but at least the remainign J blockers are able to stay together..

well, yesterday i had to introduce ourselfs as BAPS to the first year students... gosh, they are so disrespectful... we were introdusing who we were and they were all too busy chitchatting and getting ready to leave... that was a total waste of time.. because of them, i missed sarah and john so i had to take a different taxi to my smoke free homes presentation. the presentations were no really bad.. had to do the first presentation in front of one class.. they were quite good and interactive... then we had to do the second presentation to two classes at one go.. that was a bit intimidating... it went allright, was telling them how smoking is bad for them and how we should tell the people around us not to smoke and how harmful it is to the health.. well finished those presentations and had to walk into town to get some necessities..in between matt decides to call me and say that he had booked a badminton court for two hours and the guys were not planning on going and they were giving it to the girls!! i was like, hmm.. thanks but thats the one time we were all busy as well..

went for a half hour menoring training... going tobe mentoring some year 10's on friday.. should be interesting, got a free ticket to go to IMAX and get paid for the whole day as well!!! wat an incentive, you get the satisfaction of helping kids and hopefully motivating them in some ways and at the same time, the uni wants to pay you! lol... i hope the cold goes by tom, i don't want to be sniffling and coughing in front of them..

well, im off... need to go and have my shower before going off to practicals.. meena is coming to our practicals today.. should be intreresting, we 4 have never been in a practical together.. its fun in our practical group.. all we do is sit and pretend to do stuff and then copy the results off someone.. lol, good to have a bit of contacts here and there so that you can copy off them! Lol..

Have a nice day!!! :)

Terrorist Breeding Ground

2006-03-06T21:02:00.000Z

LATEST NEWS -----> FOUR STUDENTS FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF BRADFORD HAVE BEEN ARRESTED FOR SUSPECTED TERRORISM AND BEING HELD IN LONDON.

Bradford is always famous for the wrong reasons! first it was the shooting of the policewoman and now this.. gosh, why does it always happen here.. this incident happened on friday at 11 30 at night and we only came to know about it today in the afternoon. how bad is it. i dunno what is worst, the part where the uni not telling us about the suspected terrorist or the part where one of the suspects actually stayed at the halls behind me!! Hmm...

i was chatting wit gadget online and he stays in the block next to where two of the terrorist were caught.. he was saying that they found ready made bombs and that they were going to set it off at various places in the uni and halls. i dunno how true this story is but yeah...

Obie was interviewed on tv and he was being so blur.. he just said he didn't know anything about it as he was from leeds. Lol.. Just waiting now to see how things go. i am just very surprised at the university that they didn't say anythign about this matter and keeping it very hush hush..

oh well, at the end of the day if it was meant to happen, it will happen. We just have to be extra alerted and be careful where we go.. i don't understand why do they want to bomb a place like bradford where half the population is asian.. Will just have to wait and hear for the latest news flash!!

Had a free day today.. finally cleaned my room.. Its not really clean but at the same time its so much better den how it was this morning.. will take me time to clear everything off.. Its so good dat I don't have any practicals this week except for thursday. meena might be joining our practical group this week.. it will be good, thursday's practicals are alwasy fun cuz we do nothign and just talk and gossip and copy the answers off something.. gosh, i sound so much like a dosser but at least i pay attention during lectures unlike them!!

have got the cold and cough!! can't even go to sleep properly.. end up coughing and blowing my nose.. i hope i get better soon! i guess it was the playing in the snow and going out at night!!

well dats about it.. i have to start with PP2 homework which is due tom! It should be ok..

Third times a charm

2006-03-05T03:42:00.000Z

well, its 3 45 in the morning and what am doing in front of a computer! shouldn't i be asleep! I mean a sane person would be all tucked in bed and n dreamland.... i think its all shelly W's influence... i'm a bit addicted to this at the moment yet at the same time i think i feel better when i write down what i feel and the stuff i do so dat i can reflect back on it.... if it makes sense! Lol....

The birthday party was fun!! it was a different environment and not the usual livingstones crowd or music or people... it was not bad.. basically there were quite a lot of pharmacy people and some pharmacy people had even surprised me tonight!!! its like a split personality...

smoked shisha again for the third time and seriously,this was the first time i actually enjoyed the shisha! Lol.. it was a mixture of mint and apple and it tasted really fresh! i didn't think i would ever ever say this but it was actually quite enjoyable! Lol.. there was a fight in the club, this guy was actually punching a girl until she was bleeding! i never ever have seen a guy take a punch at the girl, Matt had to pull the guy down and he was saying dat the guy's knuckles were so red after beating the girl! Seriously bradford is filled with all the wannabee, punk guys who have no sense what so ever!! its quite sad actually.. lol...

Well, thats about it... the night was just filled with dancing, shisha and water! Lol.. walked back in the cold... luckily i had my jacket on!! i think i am getting sick with the whole exposure to the cold.. i hope i dunt get sick, hate the feeling and the whole pain!! *fingers crossed* i will magically get cured tonight by sleeping! Lol...

Goodmorning and Have a nice day!!

Snow Balls and Snow Slides

2006-03-04T19:20:00.000Z

Its the weekend already! Yay!! lol.. i have officially done no work this week!! i can't believe myself! i was meant to be doing some work at least! i dunno what i have been up to but have done no work!!
it was snowing yesterday!! It was a nice sunny day when we went into lectures.. 3 hours later when we walked out, the ground was filled with snow and the whole place was so white!! it felt like you were walking on white carpet.. lol.. i was so excited, i have been wishing for it to snow for such a long time!!! last year it snowed but it didn't snow as much.. i have to say i wasn't wearing the right shoes for it at all.. my shoes got wet and my feet were wet too... i was walking down to matt's place yesterday to give him his notes and i made such a big snowball cuz i wanted to chuck it at him but i ended up throwing it outside instead.. the girl inside wouldn't let me in cuz i had the snowball in my hand.. matt's place was so nice and warm, i just took my shoes off and let them dry a little and kept my hands and feet nice and warm near the radiator.. i waited there for a bit for my shoes to dry off a bit and ended up talking to him for about three hours!! he was playing on his play station and i was just sitting around chit chatting, we ended up talking about Oprah to the last season of FRIENDS to who in the pharmacy course likes who..

I missed out on some of the fun cuz the pharmacy girls decided to wear garbage bags and slide down the hill opposite the library.... then they built a snowman outside the halls as well.. i missed it but then anisha was up for it again so we ended up putting garbage bags over our jeans.. the garbage bag looks so much like an overgrown nappy and we were slidding down the amphitheatre hill.. it was quite fun but painful at the same time.. lol... it was quite good cuz it was about 9 something at night.. there was no one around cuz i think everyone was getting ready to go out on a friday night to FND.. me an riz teamed against naz and nishie and we were throwing snowballs against each other.. the other two were cheating cuz they just picked up all the round hard ones and started throwing it at us!! it was a good night though..

felt so hungry in the end, we ended up ordering pizza and collecting it.. we watched bride and prejudice again!!! i was so good to see darcy again! we were all fighting over darcy and was claiming dat he was out husband but then the actualy truth is dat darcy asked me to marry him ages ago but i declined the offer! Lol.. his eyes are so so so mesmerising!!!

i finally got to practise to play netball today!! after the countless times they failed to ring me up, i finally was given early notice to play netball.. i am the reserve for wing defender of wing attacker.. not sure which position but yeah.. you can't really have a proper game cuz we don't have dat many players.. it was quite good and it really woke me up in the morning, all the running but i think i just put on what i burned cuz i just ate so many cadbury mini eggs! they are just so so so nice and tempting! i can just eat the packet on its own!! Yum Yum..

well, its one of the girls 21st birthday and she is having her birthday party at a shisha bar so going there... should be interesting i think..... lets see what happens...

Thursday already!!

2006-03-02T18:48:00.000Z

Wowee, its already thursday well moving onto friday already!! Lol..

Time just has passed by and i dunno where it went! its been two weeks now since i haven't donw any work. i dunno what happened to my read work for two hours everyay talk.. i seriously shouldn't be saying things but instead do the actions instead!!

well i was so glad yesterday was over.. had the worst BAPS meeting ever.. we had a guy from natwest sit in to one of our meeting.. worst part is my dear president did not even inform the fellow exec dat we are gonna have the manager during our meeting... he basically messed up my agenda and minutes! i am gonna give him a piece of my min during the next meeting.. i thought of getting refreshments and brought some juices for the meeting.. i didn't have any plastic cups so i went to jacksons to get some but to my surprise they don't sell any plastic cups!! It does not make sense at all! How can a last minute shop not have essentials like that! so we didn't have much to offer him in the end.. i think the meeting was really childish and we did not seem proffessional at all.. i'm glad it was over though.. i am going to have the time of my life trying to sort out and type up the minutes thanks to my beloved president!

Playd badminton after dat.. its quite good to play badminton at least once a week but then my muscles are aching.. i dunno why though cuz i am quite used to playing badminton already.. can't say i am good or anythign like that.. it was good playing yesterday.. played doubles as usual. the guys never like us girls to play with them cuz they think they are the best! mat and i played meena and ashab. we won though.. ashab is the hardest person to partner with.. he is just so dominating on the court and wants to hit all the time... poor meena.. Mat's bald and well i was running for the shuttlecock and so was he, i hit the shuttlecock and hit mat's bald head at the same guy! poor guy didn't realise wat had hit him.. he had a red line on the top of his head yesterday! Good thing it wasn't bleeding or anythign like dat! Lol...

Come to think of it, yesterday was a busy day... cuz after i played badminton, i had a short nap and had a shower and met heena for dinner.. went to try this restaurant called omar khans.. seemed like a nice play and we had some privacy as well for dinner.. then she dragged me along to her aunts place.. it was her uncle's b'day.. her uncle just turned 23... saw him at a garba in november and he seemed like a nice guy.. didn't get a chance to speak to him when we were at the garba.. she brought me to his house the last time to meet him but then he was working.. so yesterday we took a taxi to his house and went to visit him.. couldn't really say much or anythign like dat.. his parents were sitting there.. we just made a bit of small talk.. he seems likea nice guy.. he dropped us back home after dat as well.. i can't believe him.. he has got a master in some degree i can't ven say but i know its got something to do with aeroplanes.. now he wants to open up a juice bar apparently! Gosh, the things people want to do but i guess at the end of the day you don't look at salary but you look at what you really want to do..

went out to livingstones yesterday night.. it was a beach party theme so they had sand all over the dancefloor and they had big beach balls around as well.. some idiot had hrew the beach ball on my face so i ended up having sand all over my hair and my ears and my face! not a nice feeling at all!! sam was really really really drunk, he acts like a small kid when he is so drunka nd all you want to do is just laugh and laugh and laugh! Lol... Not many people were out last night.. usually half the people from pharmacy will be there..

it was a good thing i had nothign today morning, i could just have a nice lie in till 11. lol, i haven't slept till this late since, i have no idea.. can't remember, i just keep getting up early.. oh eyah i remember i slept till 11 or 12 when i was at warwick visiting shell..

had boring 3 hour lectures as usual.. no fun in lectures anymore... usually i will be sitting and gossiping but there is not fun in it already.. a certain somebody doesn't come into lectures anymore.. oh well, i guess its an opportunity for me to pay attention, yeah right! Lol... oh well but i seriously have to get some solid work done.. hopefully over the weekend, *fingers crossed*

watched the movie shaun of the dead in rizzie's room just now... not impressed at all.. dunno why i even bothered wasting my time with it.. tom, hopefully we can go to the movies and watch big momma's house2.. apparently its a comedy.. must go and check it out.. well, its way passed my bestime.. better get going to sleep before i have problems waking up! Lol, whats new i wonder!!

Packed!

2006-02-28T23:49:00.000Z

Lol, i don't think i was going to start blogging again after my whole crying incident! lol.. it feels so much better when you write down what you are thinking and what you are feeling! its like talking to a friend!

well, what have i been doing? well, i went into foster square on saturday.. was going around looking for suits to wear for my interview.. i didn't see anything that caught me eye. i wore my new shoes but were they killing me, i had to walk tip toe all around foster square.. i came back and my sock had blood on them! shoes are really deceiving!! they look so comfy but who could imagine them to be so painful!! mat was surprised when i showed him my blisters. he thought the shoes were just plain ol comfy! Lol...

I felt like a proper old english woman on saturday afternoon. judith had to do her laundry so i told her she can chill at my place till its done.. ended up serving her tea and biscuits. then i got a surprise call from sathish saying dat he is in bradford and was popping down to see me.. i was surprised and just didn't know what to do.. well, ended up giving him tea and biscuits as well and speaking to him for some time..

sunday was just sunday... time alwasy flies on a sunday especially when i am doing my telephone rounds.. its was so good to be using the phone.. i didn't use my phone to call people for two weeks cuz i ran out of my free minutes! lol.. will be conserving them this mont for a bit to last me a whole month...

i lost track on what day we were on.. i thought it might have been mondya.. i have just been so busy.. yesterday was a full day as well.. didn't do any work but yeah.. had pharmacognosy practical in the morning. that was fun, i was doing the experiment with mitesh.. it was funny cuz i would ask him to do it first or he would ask me to do the step first.. we just did not want to mess up pur results and we both didn't know what we were doing.. it turned out right in the end.. i had a little help from my Phd friend! lol... good to have a bit of contacts here and there!!! Lol.. didn't go to body atack yesterday.. i cooked chicken burmese style yesterday.. it turned out pretty good but it was lacking a bit of coconut but it was allright...

well, we shall not even start on today.. it has been such a long day.. i had to go for my professional development practical.. it was good today altough i always dread my next practical and its in 2 weeks time! Lol, i like my tutor though, she is really good and goes through everything and explains it all.. then went to do my washing.. the weather is just so cold outside and i have no more clean clothes to wear.. they are all dirty... then just had lunch and had enough time to go to my afternoon lectures.. felt so much like sleeping during lectures.. i think i might have dosed off a bit.... i fell asleep during my fridays lecture though.. the lecture room is so big and cosy that the lecturer won't be able to notice you sleeping anywaz.. lol, i am so bad!! its second semester and i am slacking so much! well, after lectures had come back and just chilled.. natasha had some optometry girls over and were just talking for a bit.. their not bad, the were all like mature students who were doing a second degree... chilleda bit with them and i had to drag myself to this societies meeting... didn't know the whole point of going there but i know that if we don't send two rep from baps, we get fined 5 pounds.. it was only int he basement so it was near the halls anyways...

we girls decided to treat ourselved and went to lahores for a meal.. it was nice going as a block.. wanted biryani but then it did not taste as nice as i thought it would.. i guess we jnxed it cuz we have been wanting the biryani since september!!! i saw malaysia on one of the music videos.. it was a cheap way of going to malaysia.. it was so nice to see the familiar places and just knowing that thats your territory! Lol.. i know i am sad but i guess i am just a tad homesick at the moment.. i dunno why.. i think i am just going through a phase as usual.. anisha said i dunt get time to myself.. i think i should get some 'me' time and see how it goes..

feeling so tired and sleepy now.. the bed is calling to me saying 'come suba come' lol..

Emotionally Unstable

2006-02-24T23:59:00.000Z

I don't even know the definition of emotionally unstable! Lol..

I guess some days you are happy and don't have the care for the world and some days you are just so emotional dat everything seems to be so negative.. i guess i just had one of those days..

yesterday was such a nice day.. it started off with a tutorial and practical but i enjoy those tutorials.. you just write on acetates and do presentations.. i wore my new shoes i bought but it was raining so i think i migth have destroyed them! me and my impatience to wear new things.. lol.. fiza wanted to try strawberry flavoured shisha. matt had planned to go to arabian nights where they took me out on my birthday and we sat there talking and she had her shisha.. she was no impressed! Lol, same reaction with me as well when i first tried it! Lol.. Mat was showing us his tricks! Lol, i have never seen a guy with so much love in his eyes whenever he speaks about shisha! you just got to be there, you get absorbed into it as well! Lol.. Then at night we had the biggest shock ever, the results were out on the internet! we were meant to get it next week but it was out yesterday night.. i was so scared i started crying before i even took a look at my results! Lol, i know i am very very silly!

I ended up feeling the opposside reaction the whole of today! i don't even know why i am feeling this way.. it just seems like everyone is against me or something is bound to go wrong.. i think cuz i haven't been anywhere else and i am always in halls with the same people or i dunno --> Just one of those days!! i mean, i came back from lectures and just started crying and i dunno why.. i know that something bad is going to happen to me in march.. i mean the whole sathish rejecting me incident, then it was the naveen incident the year before.. i always have a big negative thing happening during dat month.. i am just scared to find out wats it going to be cuz i am attached to a certain someone and i am very scared dat wat if i loose dat certain someone... i know its normal for me to loose someone but still... i guess i am in the stage where i am denying i have feelings for the person but cannot help thinking about the person!! i dunno if i am making sense or not.. i am sure i will be lost when i get up tom morning and reread this entry!

OH god, i think i am just going to have an early night and wake up tom.. after all tom is a new day and hopefully i will be more positive!!

Goodnight and Sweet dreams!!

Time Flies

2006-02-23T00:13:00.000Z

Feel so tired today! i think my blog title for today should be ' A long day' instead! Lol.. i haven't spent time in my room today.. did quite a few things today actually.. had got tutorial today and we had professor naylor... he just went on and on and on about other things instead of answering the tutorial questions.. his lectures are really funny.. he was doing lectures on mental illnesses and someone everyone he knows or his friends babysitters sisters neighbours brother in law suffers some kind of mental illness.. Lol...

well, was able to get my CRB check done.. i can get paid for the mentoring i do now!!! Money money money! Lol.. i just went for training the last time and i got paid for listening to people!! was meant to go play badminton but mat calls me at 12 in the afternoon when he is playing at 12.. could not be bothered getting ready and running to play.. went to body attack today instead.. today's body attackwas better than monday's lesson.. i didn't like the instructor today.. she was not so enthusiastic... it was good though!! still want to go swimming but haven't got round to going yet..

i went to subway o get a sandwich today.. was really disappointed.. i wanted a sweet onion teriyaki sandwich but when i went to order, they had sold the last one two minutes before! i was so disappoined as i was looking forward to sweet onion teriyaki with lots of jalapenos!! Wow... then i went to get a drink and they didn't have the drink i like as well.. so all in all it was useless in the end!! Oh well.. Matt thought me another trick,he said you can get chicken breasts and just put teriyaki sauce on it! lOL.. i never thought about it dat way...

Fiza wants to try and smoke shisha tom so mat has arranged for something.. she askedme to go and accompany her.. dunno if i will be giving it a second try.. don't like shisha!! it really tastes disgusting!see how things go tom.. having pieroni for pharmacog.. like his lectures, don' understand his teaching but like his italian accent!! will actualy be paying attn in lectures for once!! lol.. time has flown by today.. at least i am happy dat i was able to finish two of my four directed tasks..

better be off to sleep now.. have got tutorial tom morning and having a new tutor, dunnoo how it will be.. we always get all sorts of tutors.. should be interesting

Long Day....

2006-02-21T22:23:00.000Z

Today has been such a long day and i didn't even have a practical today! Gosh.. well, the funny thing was that i was supposed to have woken up at 7 in the morning to walk up this slope! to make things worse, i even advertised it in the block.. so many people betted against me saying that i wouldn't do it.. Guess what --> i woke up and just looked out of the window and went back to sleep again! Lol, couldn't be bothered to go out in the cold walking!

Started to do a bit of work in the morning.. just as i felt happy about it, things happened and i couldn't continue on with my work! Quite sad actually! Oh well... everything happens for a reason.. lectures was so boring today, i just closed my eyes during the first lecture cuz there wasn't much to like pay attention too.. didn't pay attn during second lecture too.. Matt was there and we were just talking and talking and talking! i'm sure the people sitting in front and at the back of us were just cursing us!! Fiha wants to try smoking shisha so matt has gladly planned another shisha outing... seriously i have never seen a person so in love with something!! he would runa mile and a half if he had to go and get tabacco for it!!

i went to watch memoirs of a geisha!! it was such a nice movie.. gosh, i cried at some parts!! it was such a moving movie... I was really glad i went to watch it.. i guess it was good in a way cuz i didn't really have much expectations as i hadn't read the book beforehand...

Didn't do any exercise today.. probably wll be making it uo tom.. theres body attack tom, went to yesterday's bodyattack and my goodness was i tired!! was such a good workout!! realy felt the fat burning! Lol...

well, off.. wanna finish some work and get an early night.. Hopefully fingers crossed

The weekend is over

2006-02-19T23:45:00.000Z

I can't believe the weekend is over and its another week already! i am dreading this week! i have practicals everyday in the morning! Awww...i have to wake up early in the morning! i never get much time to myself on the weekends.. time just flies and you have other work to do. this doesn't even include the uni stuff!!

well, woke up in the morning and went into town to get a few things from pc world.. me and naz had to rush it back for 12 30.. we booked a badminton court for the afternoon.. we played for a bit and i came back, had lunch.. then i just got chatting.. you don't realise time passing when you are online chatting especially like around 3 in the afternoon.. thats like the peak time with people from back home! i think getting the computer was quite bad cuz it distracts me a lot! then everyone who goes back during the weekend come back and you have the little catching up session with what happened over the week and stuff like that...

in conclusion, i did no work at all! I askedNaz to wake me up everyday at about 7 when she wakes up to pray but each time i say morning and just go back to sleep! lol.. poor things still wakes me up! i dun't care, tomorrow i will have to get up early to finish my directed tasks..

i got a free badminton racket yesterday from matt.. he gave it to me cuz i helped him out with getting notes and stuff like that.. he really is a weird and funny guy at the same time! Lol... hope he comes to lectures tom, it will be a laugh.. oh well, tested it out today and it was good!! i dunno why i am so hooked onto badminton at the moment.. maybe cuz the guys don't really think we girls can't play proper badminton and just shove us to the sides! lol, its all about showing other people what you are made off!

want to watch memoirs of a geisha this week.. dunno when we will be going.. mother's 50th birthday this thursday! wowee, have a century! lol... trying to sort out getting flowers delivered to the house.. she will be alone this year.. everyone is like on different time zones.. what a time for my father to be in aussie!

Feel so sleepy already, i think its the whole weekend filled with lack of sleep.. hopefully *fingers crossed* will be waking up at 7!!

2006-02-18T13:31:00.000Z

I can't believe the weekend is here already! This time last week i was on my way to see Shell!! That was a really good weekend, short but good! Lol..

Well, my plans for this weekend was just to study and catch up on all my notes. i have not done any work this week. u wonder where the time goes! i think i should start with my library missions again to get back into doing some work!!

I was meant to get an early night yesterday so that i can wake up early in the morning nice and fresh to revise. guess wat i ended up doing instead! went to sleep at 5 30 in the morning! i can't believe how crazy the girls were.. we started off with watching one hindi movie at 10 something at night.. The movie was allright but it was just so predictable! i mean it was about this girl with three uncles and she ends up liking the guy and he had to impresss the three uncles. i mean, how predictable can a film be! I actually fell asleep at the ending.. could not bear to watch it longer..

then the girls wanted to watch the songs from another movie kabhi kushi kabhi gham.. well, i had heard so much about the movie and everyone has been asking me to watch it so we ended up watching it as well.. the girls were all getting me excited and we had high expectations for this movie.. it was a really good movie, i was cryign in between... i wanted to see a romantic emotional movie but it happened o be a family emotional movie.. it was good but i was kind of looking forward to seeing a romantic movie dat wil make me cry! i know i am weird!! we felt hungry in between so we ended up ordering a pizza... so glad there are places around here dat do delivery even in the early hours of the morning!!! so yeah... everyone ended up leaving my room only at 5!!! gosh it was an early morning!

i ended up getting a msg of my friend at 7 30 asking if i can come for netball practises at 9.. i only saw the msg at like 12! lol.. i dunno whether i am gonna be joining the netball or not.. i mean they don' have the courtesy to call me earlier to inform me about practises. i think history is gonna repeat itself. last year as well, they didn't even bother asking me to practises or anything like that.. do they think i have nothing to do and just wait for their phonecall and i will run to practises when they ask me too? Lets see how it goes.. have to msg her later on..

when morrisson shopping yesterday so my fridge is full of food! love it cuz i have so much variety to pick and choose from! i'm wondering what im gonna have for my lunch.. haven't decided yet.. wowee, its 4 mins to 2.. i better go off first and get a bit of work done!

2006-02-16T23:18:00.000Z

Well, here i go again.. each time i start writing, something seems to go wrong.. i am wondering if this is a sign to not blog at all! lol.. well, i will just give it one more try! After much contemplation, i thought i will start blogging again.. lets see how long this lasts! Lol.. i do realise that you feel better when you put thoughts into writing...

well, what a day this has been.. quite a long one actually.. i started the mornign by playing badminton.. i actually booked a court for 9 in the morning! i dunno why i was crazy enough to book it at that time! so i ended up waing up early and doing a bit of laundry.. usually it only costs a £1 to do laundry before 12 but then they have changed it to £1.60 anytime of the day!! i only had two tops to wash as well! sigh... feel so lazy to handwash but i guess i will be doing more of that now!

well, badminton was fun.. played for one and a half hours.. only me and sarah.. it was so good to have the whole court to yourself.. usually the girls will end up playing on the side when we play with matthew & Co.. we usually have just one game with them.. that was quite good.. i went to watch Final Destination 3 yesterday... i was telling Sarah the story when the badminton court lights just switched off... had no idea why.. was quite freaky actually.. the movie was so crap! Well, it was quite good in certain aspects but then, i mean who would want to sit through a movie and watch people dying?! it just does not make sense!!

Had three hours of lecture as usual.. i was able to pay slight attn to the first twolectures.. it wasn't too bad.. i just could not keep my eyes open during the third lecture! i was so sleepy.. usually its quite interestign cuz this lecture is about plants an stuff like that but i don't really like the lecturer.. he is quite boring..

well, i guess that's about it.. just a normal boring day in the life of Suba.. nothing interesting happened..